THE PILLAYS

It hasn’t always been rosy but you learn to give and take Anna Pillay

YOU can’t always have what you want – that’s what youngsters need to remember when they embark on their marriage journey

Roy, 65, and Anna, 61, Pillay met at school when he was 17 doing matric and she was 13 and doing Grade 8.

They grew up in the same neighbourhood, and Roy had to pass Anna’s home to get to school. Roy was taken by Anna’s beauty, and he’d send messages to her via little boys; six years later they would be husband and wife. Anna said their 42-year marriage was a result of compromise and understanding.

“It hasn’t always been rosy, but one has to learn to give and take. People also need to understand they can’t have everything they want in a marriage,” Anna said.

Anna is a retired accountant and Roy is running a tractor spares business; they live in their Bluff home of 42 years where they raised their two children, Calvin and Celina. Celina moved to Australia and Calvin moved to Johannesburg, leaving the two lovebirds alone in their nest.

Roy said the most important things for a healthy marriage were trust, respect and support.

Anna echoed his statement, adding that the reason most marriages did not work these days was because women want things to go their way at all times and refuse to compromise. She said she’d seen instances where women demand money from their husbands only to go to gym and drink coffee with their friends, all the while not contributing or adding value to their marriages.

“The thing with these youngsters is that they compare themselves with other people’s lifestyles. My wife and I have always focused on ourselves and our own way of life; we’ve turned out all right,” said Roy.

Their biggest challenge was getting retrenched on the same day: “Our kids were young, Calvin was in high school and Celena in primary, it was the toughest time of our life.”

Roy had a big client base at the company he worked for, so he started his own tractor spares business which he still runs today. With both their children leading their own lives, the only thing they said they were looking forward to was having grandchildren.