Seize the romantic reins and rule
Isn’t it time you raised your standards and stopped wasting time on people who don’t appreciate your gifts? Discover more dating secrets with Flow – 21 Secrets to Refresh Your Relationships from author and journalist Caroline Hurry, published by Hygge Books (LLC). The following is an extract from the book: DO YOU feel more true blue than red hot on Valentine’s Day?
You’re not alone. Wait.
You are alone. That’s the blues thing. Unless you have a few half-sized bottles of sparkling wine – and we know how long those last – there’s not much fun in popping the cork for one.
The red heart rages because strolling hand in hand along a pristine KZN beach somewhere is out of the question. It’s not just the sewage spills but the lack of response from Conman Don.
You’ve heard nothing more from him since you deposited the money he needed to finish filming the “tropical aspect” of his movie – the one he was shooting for the SABC. He said you’d be perfect for a leading role, but for some odd reason, you can no longer see his profile image on WhatsApp.
You thought you’d be meeting him at King Shaka Airport today. But you’re not. You’re picking at your cuticles, eating pilchards from the tin, and wondering why empaths like you fall prey to tsotsis and why we celebrate the day of Valentine’s beheading for the crime of conducting marriages when Emperor Claudius The Cruel had forbidden his soldiers to tie the knot.
Imagine how betrayed the well-meaning priest must have felt – all love, light, and kiss the bride one minute, locked in jail penning a heartfelt letter to his jailer’s daughter the next. An unholy wedlock, indeed!
At least, with Claudius The Cruel, you knew where you were. The name alone was a clue.
These days the likes of Narcissist Nick, Gaslighter Gary, and Stingy Steve come clothed as Cupid.
They dazzle you with their derring-do tales. They pierce your heart with their poisoned arrows. They trade in Tinder and other fairy tales that enable romance pedlars – commercial florists and confectioners – to charge triple on February 14.
When you come off Cloud Nine, and reality hits, you’re in a cold dark pool of self-pity, berating yourself for letting Boomerang Bruce and Hardluck Harry drain your energy, goodwill, and finances. When did you become a sitting duck for psycho-poachers?
Where did you miss the signs? How did you allow some goalpost-shifting, pompous mansplainer to order for you in a restaurant without asking about your preferences or allergies?
Looking back with an appraising eye, you may admit you failed to weed out the chancers by turning a (love-is-blind) eye to warning whispers that became flapping red flags such
as these:
1. Online, he addresses you as “Respected Dear”, “Beautiful Lady”, or gets too familiar too soon
2. Asks to borrow money for any reason
3. Does not return calls and texts timeously
4. Delays and evades – you’ve never met his friends or family
5. He sulks, withdraws, and stonewalls you
6. You find yourself walking on eggshells around him
7. He’s negative, stingy, a resentful tipper, and complains constantly.
● If you’ve slipped on the treacherous rocks of romance or fallen in love with “potential” for too long, Flow –
THE cover of Flow – 21 Secrets to Refresh Your Relationships.
21 Secrets to Refresh Your Relationships (Hygge Books) is an outstretched hand. You can learn:
Four fast ways to stop a rogue in his tracks:1. Always believe in the red flags over someone’s potential.
2. Trust a person’s patterns over their apologies.
3. You are more than enough. Value your worth, and never let anyone undermine you.
4. Raise the bar by becoming the person you seek. Embody every quality you think somebody else needs to supply.
● Flow – 21 Secrets to Refresh Your Relationships is available on Amazon or directly from the author. There is a paperback special for South Africans of R300, which includes postage to your nearest Postnet. Email the author: caroline@ hurry.co.za for more details.
● Caroline Hurry is the winner of a Tourism Authority of Thailand Award for International Media Reporting. She has written for several publications, including Independent Newspapers and the Zurich-based A Small World.
Flow – 21 Secrets is her second book in her ‘Hygge Queen’ series, the first being Reign: 16 Secrets From 6 Queens to Rule Your World With Clarity, Connection & Sovereignty.