Tailpiece

Pietermaritzburg, and at Caversham, in the Midlands) that were built by the Trappist monks in the old days.

One was on the Polela River at Reichenau Mission, near Underberg; the other at Centecow Mission, near Creighton.

Water mills splashing … the indigenous forests of the southern districts … silent Trappist monks … you can sense the peace and calm of it all.

Hybrid

OVERHEARD in the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties: “You know what you get when you cross an onion with a donkey? A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.”

St Helena

THE modern world has sneaked up on St Helena. This isle in the South Atlantic, where Napoleon spent his final days with some retainers, is to get an airport next year.

This means, says David Hughes of the Port Natal branch of the World Ships Society, that the mailship RMS St Helena will no longer be required.

The current vessel came into service in 1989 and was just about due for retirement, but David says she was a delight to sail on, and it’s the end of an era.

Her final voyage will be in July. So any enthusiast who wants to be in on the occasion ought to set about booking. THIS doctor always drops in at the same pub for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The barman always has it waiting for him, already poured, at 5.06 every day.

One day he discovers he’s run out of hazelnut extract. Thinking fast, he makes up a daiquiri with hickory nuts.

The doctor comes in on time, takes his drink, has a sip then gags. “This isn’t a hazelnut daiquiri.”

“So sorry. It’s a hickory daiquiri Doc.”

Last word

IF WINNING isn’t everything, why do they keep score? – Vince Lombardi