Trump observes

there was also the Python who had a Flying Circus. AMERICAN presidential candidate Donald Trump is paying close attention to the Olympic Games in Rio, they say.

He wants to see how high the Mexican pole vaulters can go.

Breaststroke

FORMER colleague and ace photographer Robert d’Avice notes Chad le Clos saying of the Rio Olympics: “I’ll race my heart out.”

“It reminds me of Paddy who went to the judges when his wife lost the 100m breaststroke final. He objected that the winner used her arms.”

Absolutely right. Cheating is out of order.

Fragrance

A READER who lives on the Bluff is enthusiastic about a new supermarket that has opened there.

“It has an automatic water mist to keep the produce fresh,” he says. “Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and you get the smell of fresh rain.

“When you pass the milk shelves, you hear cows mooing and there is the scent of freshly mowed hay.

“In the meat department there’s the aroma of charcoal-grilled steaks with onions.

“When you approach the egg shelves, you hear hens clucking and cackling, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

“The bread department has the tantalising smell of freshly baked bread and cookies.”

But, he says: “I don’t buy toilet paper there any more.”

Tailpiece

THE artist specialises in painting nudes. He’s interviewing a new model. She’s fully clothed and they’re having a cup of tea.

Suddenly he sits bolt upright. “That’s my wife come home. Quick – take off your clothes!”

Last word

HISTORIANS are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them. – Leo Tolstoy