Helicopters

nuttin’ except to repeat that we need a Rugby Indaba to analyse where our game has gone wrong in the professional era and whether it has become badly structured at provincial and club levels.

Clued-up guys like Naas Botha and Mick Mallett should lead the thing (I’ve almost forgiven Mallett for dropping Gary Teichmann as Bok captain). FORMER All Blacks captain Richie McCaw is now flying helicopters, we’re told.

It’s as well he’s retired from rugby. McCaw was adept enough at pinching ball from an offside position. In a helicopter he’d be unplayable.

Woids

SOME puns come this way. Or are they aphorisms masquerading as puns?

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.

A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tyred.

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

Tailpiece

THIS fellow checks into a holiday hotel on a tropical island. From the jungle he hears drums. He goes to the beach. He hears drums. In the bar that evening he hears the same drums. In bed that night they’re still drumming from the jungle.

At the reception desk next morning he asks: “What’s with the drums? Do they never stop? They’re driving me nuts.” “Drums must not stop, sir.” “Why not?” “Because when drums stop, bass solo follows.”

Last word

SLAP a mask on a drunk and you’re going to have trouble. It’s like having a live re-enactment of anonymous forum comments. – Randy K Milholland