Artificial intelligence – the consummation
ARTIFICIAL intelligence is a development in the digital age that is beginning to cause qualms in many quarters.
What if the robots start to out-think us and take over? Could we end up with robotic rule, humans the slaves of the machines? It’s the stuff of horror science fiction.
But Zheng Jiajia, a 31-yearold artificial intelligence engineer in Hangzhou, China, has no such qualms. In fact, he’s married what is called a “fembot” – female robot – that he built from scratch.
He and Yingying – that’s the fembot – were married in a traditional Chinese ceremony, she wearing a black dress and with a red scarf draped over her head, according to the South China Morning Post.
A wedding guest is quoted saying Zheng built and fell in love with the fembot because his parents were pestering him to settle down.
Yingying apparently has a vocabulary and can communicate, but only with Zheng. We’re not told what that vocabulary consists of. Is it “Yes dear” or can it be a screech of “You’ve been at the pub again, you no-good rubbish!”
Nor are we told if the marriage has been consummated.
It’s understood that the blow-up dolls of Yangzhou are planning a picket protest.
Dear Abby
ABIGAIL van Buren is an American agony aunt whose “Dear Abby” column of sassy advice to readers is syndicated in the US and other parts of the world.
Sometimes, however, Abby finds herself stumped for an answer. Here are some of the more tricky questions over the years:
A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid20s. These two women go everywhere together and I’ve never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?
What can I do about all the sex, nudity, fowl language and violence on my VCR?
I have a man I can’t trust. He cheats so much I’m not even sure the baby I’m carrying is his.
I am a 23-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It’s getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don’t know him well enough to discuss money with him.
I’ve suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again.
Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?
I joined the Navy to see the world. I’ve seen it. Now how do I get out?
My 40-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.
I was married to Bill for three months and I didn’t know he drank until one night he came home sober.
My mother is mean and short tempered. I think she is going through mental pause.
You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?
Ee ba goom!
THE other day I quoted the great WG Grace saying: “They came here to watch me bat, not to watch you umpire”.
But cricket fundi Chris Taylor has a different version.
“Dr Grace – then about 40 – was invited to play in a special game organised in his honour. The ground was packed. Bowling was a young fast bowler, keen to prove himself.
“Early in his Innings, Grace was hit on the pads right in front. The young bowler appealed vigorously but the umpire, sizing up the situation, turned it down.
At the end of the over Grace commented to the bowler: “Tha coom to see me, not thee lad.’’
Eyoop! Nowt so queer as folk!
Tailpiece
SCOTSMEN Jimmy and Willie are in a restaurant. When the waiter comes with the bill, Willie says: “Don’t worry aboot the tab, Jimmy. I’m payin’.”
Next day Jimmy is found strangled in a back alley. Newspaper headline: “Gruesome death of Scottish ventriloquist.”
Last word
GIVE me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. – Jack Benny