Denarius or dibilishi
schlenter. It became part of the lingo, Scots business practice immortalised. Now forgotten.
Well, almost. A few years ago I was in a remote rural village when I picked up a 20 cent piece (nominal equivalent of two shillings) that an old woman had dropped at her stall. “Iskoshimeni,” I said, as I gave it back to her.
Her face lit up. “Awu! Impela! Iskoshimeni!” (Oh! True! A Scotchman!)
But the next generation will know nothing of it. This seems a pity.
Nostalgia
WHY THIS nostalgia for the imperial coinage? Well, consider. The half crown (two shillings and sixpence – nominal equivalent 25 cents) had several Zulu names. One was idiomatic – ingogo, meaning “the price of a woman”.
Twenty-five cents! Yep, them wuz the days!
Silly sheilas
OVERHEARD in the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties: “Women are indeed silly. They sleep with men who – if they were women – they wouldn’t even have bothered to have lunch with.”
Oldies’ quiz
THE FOLK of Ridgewood Retirement Village, north of the uMngeni, believe in keeping the grey matter active. Recently they had a quiz evening. During his introduction, the MC quoted a few answers from similar evenings in other villages.
Who was shot by Lee Harvey Oswald in Dallas? JR.
What was Gandhi’s first name? Goosey.
What was Hitler’s first name? Heil.
Name a bird with a long neck. Naomi Camphell.
What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963? I don’t know, I wasn’t watching it then.
Name something that follows the word pork. Cupine.
Who hit the first golf ball on the moon? Tiger Woods.
Who is the author of Winnie the Pooh? Brooklax.
Er, so what? Pretty clear answers, I’d say.
Tailpiece
THEY’VE started a self-help group for compulsive talkers. It’s called On and On Anon.
Last word
A GIRL phoned me the other day and said “Come on over, there’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home. – Rodney Dangerfield