Baby shark kidnapped

discover that these fellows have come on board totally with the school traditions, and with great cheerfulness. I’m sure it’s true of all our traditional schools, and that surely is significant social progress.

I departed with a cry of “Jigamalayo!” – College’s Zulu war cry – to which they responded, just about raising the roof. A little bit of Maritzburg tradition comes to Durban. It’s an enriching thing.

Brexit dilemmas

WHOM the gods would destroy they first make mad. The ancient proverb seems increasingly applicable to the Brexit process. It’s becoming clear that nobody – not even the arch-Brexiteers – did their homework on the practicalities of leaving the EU. How can the “soft” border between Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland be retained, with the UK out of the customs union? It seems an impossibility.

Now an investigation by Sky News reveals that the port of Dover has no hope of imposing customs regulation on the volume of goods entering and leaving Britain, in the event of the UK crashing out in a “no deal” Brexit.

And opinion polls show a decisive majority of Britons are fed up with the whole thing and would rather remain in the EU.

But Downing Street insists there will be no second referendum.

Whom the gods would destroy they first make mad. Will the House of Commons come to the rescue?

It’s worth a flutter with the bookies.

Choc horror

STILL with the EU, the European Court of Justice – bete noire of the brexiteers – has ruled against KitKat, the chocolate bar.

Nestlé, manufacturers of KitKat, have been trying for 11 years to get the four-fingered wafer covered in chocolate trademarked as their own.

But they are opposed by Cadbury’s and by a similar Norwegian chocolate bar called Kvikk Lunsj – “quick lunch” – that has been around for about 80 years.

The European Court of Justice has ruled against KitKat. Nestlé intend appealing. This one will run and run.

Tailpiece

WHEN a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it’s love. After marriage it’s selfdefence.

Last word

JUST a word of advice. Whenever you’re furious with your parents or you think they’re terrible, just remember, you vomited on them and they kept you. – John Green

PICTURE: AP A robotic hand holds a cube at artificial intelligence research company OpenAI’s research lab in San Francisco. The hand, called Dactyl, has a single job – to rotate a cube until the letter facing up matches a random selection. Researchers are in the...