The Mercury

Election situation normal

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THE US mid-term elections are bearing down. Facebook has deleted 32 pages suspected of being fake Russian trolls and is contacting the 290 000 accounts that have been in contact with them, warning of developmen­ts.

This seems either to contradict Donald Trump’s repudiatio­n in Helsinki of his security services confirming Russian interferen­ce in American elections, or to support his later explanatio­n that he had “misspoken” on the issue – something to do with a double negative.

It seems an invitation for Vladimir Putin to visit the White House is live.

Meanwhile, the fragile peace between Trump and the billionair­e Koch Brothers seems to be breaking down.

The Kochs are major donors to the Republican Party but not to Trump or his wing of it.

In the 2016 primaries they supported several candidates but not Trump. When it came down to the election, Charles Koch said having to choose between Hillary Clinton and Trump was like having to choose between cancer and a heart attack. Already frigid relations plunged in temperatur­e.

The Kochs have now

announced $400 million in support of non-Trump Republican­s in the mid-term elections.

Trump has tweeted in response that the Koch Brothers are “a total joke in real Republican circles”.

And Trump has threatened again to close down the federal government if the Congress fails to vote for funds for his Great Wall of Mexico. Situation normal. A snafu, to use military terminolog­y.

America seems to be doing its best to outdo Brexit politics in the UK.

Pseudo stuff

A READER calling himself Nick comments on the recent item about a zoo in Egypt painting stripes on donkeys to get pseudo-zebras. It reminds him of pseudo-German.

“Since a horse is known as ‘fodder geburning klippen klopper’, a zebra would by definition be ‘a pin stripen suiten wearen fodder geburning klippen klopper’.

“In the same vein, an X-ray machine is ‘an inside gelooken peeper’, which by extension suggests that a radiologis­t has to be ‘an inside gelooken peeper keeper’.”

“Finally, for those among us who enjoy golf, the definition of a golf course has to be: ‘a hitten ’n huntin veldt’.”

Himmel! Das ist jetzt gunug!

Roos on the move

TIE ME kangaroo down, sport… a family in Melbourne, in the Australian state of Victoria, were wakened by a crash as a kangaroo jumped through a bedroom window.

It seems the roos are on the move.

Over in the federal capital, Canberra, they’ve come to town in their thousands, according to Sky News, raiding any patch of green grass they can find.

It’s the result of a harsh, dry winter. The kangaroos are desperate for food. Cricket ovals, school playground­s and roadside verges are the best supply of green grass, and the roos are bobbing about everywhere.

They present a traffic hazard and roadkill stats are climbing.

There have been 2 291 incidents this year, according to the authoritie­s.

“The way we’re tracking, it’s likely we’re going to have more than 4 000 kangaroo incidents by the time the year is done,” says Daniel Iglesias, the director of the Australian Capital Territory Parks and Conservati­on Service.

“That is typical of dry years because these animals are under stress. They’re looking for food, which means they’re more mobile and it always ends up with more roadkill.”

Maybe they should fit those kangaroos with reflective stickers.

Houdini swim

BULGARIA has produced the answer to Houdini and Michael Phelps combined – swimming instructor and lifeguard Yane Petkov.

This week, he reclaimed the Guinness world record for swimming with his hands and feet tied, his body fully wrapped in a sack.

He achieved this by swimming 3 380m in Lake Ohrid, in Macedonia, according to the Huffington Post. He had been temporaril­y relieved of the title by Indian fisherman Gopal Kharvi, who swam 3 071m, thus trussed, in the Indian Ocean.

Extraordin­ary what these Guinness bidders get up to.

If you spot a sack making slow progress through the water in the Durban Yacht Basin, playing the flute through a snorkel, don’t be alarmed. It will just be another Guinness bid.

Tailpiece

PADDY lingers late at the pub. He takes a tube home.

At the escalator is a sign: “Dogs must be carried on the escalator.”

Paddy: “Now where am I expected to find a dog dis time of night?”

Last word

DON’T accept rides from strange men, and remember that all men are strange. – Robin Morgan

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