Donald and Boris – political nitroglycerine
“Anything you can do I can do better, “I can do anything better than you.” “No you can’t.”
“Yes I can.”
“No you can’t.”
“Yes I can.”
“No you can’t.”
“Yes I can, yes I ca-a-a-a-an!”
THE wonderful duet of long ago between Doris Day and Robert Gourlay could be a theme for this weekend.
Donald Trump suggested out of the blue that the US should buy Greenland, the world’s largest island, icebound up there in the Arctic circle. Mette Frederiksen, Denmark’s prime minister, described the idea as “absurd” (Greenland is a semi-autonomous dependency of Denmark). Trump then cancelled a state visit to Denmark that had been planned for months, citing her “nasty” remarks. This week, Boris Johnson travelled to Berlin and Paris to present his “take-it-or-leave-it” Brexit formula to European leaders.
Tomorrow, both Trump and Johnson – the lookalikes – will be at the G7 Summit of industrial nations in Biarritz, south-west France.
Will they try to outdo each other? The Donald and Boris Knockabout Show? Francois Heisbourg of the International Institute for Strategic Studies says the combination of two personalities “not well known for their self-control” is “political nitroglycerine”.
“It might be entertaining, but if it actually gets in the way of more substantive proceedings, that would be another story.” Fraught days, indeed.
Not least at Loftus where the Sharks have everything to gain and the Bulls everything to lose. Hier kom ’n ding!
Attention at the Street Shelter for the Over Forties will swivel between the G7 and Loftus. The damsels have a keen interest in international affairs and have volunteered their knicker elastic in the case of success for either the Sharks or Donald and Boris, for a fashioning of catapults for the traditional celebratory feu
de joie in which the streetlights are shot out. ’Erewego, ’erewego, ’erewego!
Bouncers
THE Third Test in the Ashes series is under way, minus key Aussie batsman Steve Smith who was felled in the Second Test by a vicious bouncer from England’s Jofra Archer, that got him just under his helmet protection.
At net practice England’s Jason Roy was similarly felled by a delivery from Archer, though he’s okay for the Test.
In the Aussie nets, Marnus Labuschagne was struck by a bouncer from his teammate, Mitchell Starc.
What’s going on? Is the protective headgear showing itself to be deficient? Are fast bowlers becoming too fast? It’s been a topic of discussion at forums of expertise such as the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties. Nobody can recall a batsman being hit on the head before the days of protective headgear. Have today’s batsmen lost the instinct to duck? Has the headgear made them careless? But today’s bowlers are much faster, some say.
Not so. I recall watching Jackie McGlew facing England’s Frank “Typhoon” Tyson, who bowled at a blistering 160km/h. McGlew had pads, gloves and (I presume) the, er, out of sight protection known as a “box”. Nothing else. Has anyone since bowled faster than Tyson?
Tailpiece
A FELLOW goes into the doctor’s rooms wearing a hat. He takes off the hat and there’s a frog growing out of the top of his head. Doctor: “What’s happened here?” Frog: “Dunno, Doc. It started as a boil on me backside.”
Last word
THE whole dream of democracy is to raise the proletarian to the level of stupidity attained by the bourgeois.