The Mercury

Forgivenes­s is always well worth the struggle


“YOU write often about forgivenes­s. I struggle to forgive a man who abandoned our two children and me for another woman. The children were very young. He went on to be married two more times and repeat a pattern and leave casualties in his path. I still hang on to what could have been. My children (now adults) apparently have no anger towards him. It’s something I still struggle with. Forgivenes­s is not always easy.” (Edited)

Thank you for reminding me just how difficult it is to forgive some things.

I trust that over the years you have concluded that your former husband and father of your nowadult children still lives, or lived, a pattern that apparently did not have its genesis in your marriage.

It may be helpful to at least concede the possibilit­y that he brought issues to your marriage that had nothing to do with you.

It’s refreshing to know that your adult children apparently have no anger issues towards their father.

You apparently did not pass the baton of your anger on to your children and for this I think you deserve commendati­on.

This is a tribute to your parenting – a fine indication that they may perhaps have broken the possibilit­y of repeating their father’s painful (for him and you and others) patterns.

 ?? ROD SMITH rodsmithfp­ ??
ROD SMITH rodsmithfp­

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