Covid-19: No cinemas, concerts, joyrides etc

SEEING that the lockdown is here to stay, lots of changes in entertainment are already being projected.

Public libraries will sadly die and disappear. These will be replaced by dull virtual books. Already, education is switching over to online learning.

There will also be another bizarre change to movies. Actual acting, with stars almost touching each other’s faces, will have to be replaced by some sort of technology that gives the impression that the actors are occupying the same space, when in fact these will all be double takes. Exceptions would be films like

Planet of the Apes where everybody wears a monkey mask anyway.

All old movies, no matter how ancient, will be deemed irreplaceable classics. Sadly, pantomimes and other stage shows will also be a thing of the past.

Movie theatres will automatically be converted into furniture stores and such. (Anybody that does not believe this, just go check out the once biggest cinema, the Shah Jehan in Grey Street and many others in Victoria and Prince Edward streets; also the numerous picture palaces in Smith and West streets!)

Most joyrides at fun fairs will not be permitted.

Most music concerts, with both musicians and audience observing safe distance, will become uneconomical to sustain.

Switching partners at dance sessions will be prohibited.

All sports that rely on large numbers of spectators will become obsolete.

All festivals that involve family gatherings will become figments of the imagination. To sum up, life won’t be much worth living any more.

So, again, an appeal to the medical scientists of the world: please find a cure for this soon, because even before Covid-19 kills us, we will die of boredom.