Navigating KZN place names makes me want a gin

YES, these place names can become confusing.

Reader Naomi Stapersma, of Bellair, says when we were told the coronavirus was bad in uMgungundlovu, she thought at first that it was the town of Gingindlovu (or Gin Gin, I Love You!) they were talking about.

“Then I looked at the modern map and realised it was now the name for Westville and Pinetown.”

Let us try to unravel the confusion, Naomi. Umgungundlovu was the Zulu name for Maritzburg, the provincial capital, in the Midlands.

It comes originally from Umgungungdlovezindukembomvana (The Fence Of Red Sticks Around the Elephant), in Zululand. The “Elephant” was King Cetshwayo. They still today shout “Wena

We’ndlovu!” (“You are the Elephant!”) when King Goodwill Zwelethini puts in an appearance. Cetshwayo’s royal homestead was surrounded by a stockade of red sticks.

In colonial times, the name uMgungundlovu was transferred to Maritzburg. The “Elephant” was now the colonial governor.

Confusingly, Maritzburg’s municipality is today known as Msunduzi, after the river that runs through the city. Just as confusingly, the district municipality is uMgungundlovu.

Gingindlovu (Gin Gin, I Love You!) is in Zululand and it’s a different town altogether. The name means “Swallow the Elephant” and relates idiomatically to a battle in the dim and distant past.

Naomi, I’m afraid you’re a little off course with your map reading.

Umgungundlovu has nothing to do with Westville or Pinetown.

Consider Greytown, not too far along the way from Maritzburg.

Its Zulu name – Umgungundlovana – means “the small Maritzburg”. That surely clinches it.

I hope this clears it up. And I trust all this is accurate. I haven’t checked name changes for at least a fortnight.

West Sussex wildlife

THERE was a bit of a flap in the English shires the other evening with reports of a large predator on the loose in a small town.

“At first glance, the beast certainly looked like it might belong in the jungle, rather than near Steyning, West Sussex, where it was spotted,” according to Sky News. Spotted? Was this a leopard? No, as they arrived on the scene, Sussex police officers found a black-furred big cat leaning across the back of a park bench. Black-furred? A panther? But, highlighted in the police car’s headlights, the big cat actually turned out to be just a large stuffed toy. Phew! Cancel that call to the circus!

Go fetch, Boy!

FLUFFY runs, walks, and prances, rhythmically tapping his four feet before he sinks down on his haunches and crouches. He’s built like a dog and behaves like a dog but, despite his name, Fluffy has no fur.

But he “fetches”. The bright yellow robot, leased by Ford Motor Co, fetches pictures and videos in a car factory to help engineers design upgrades for workspaces, according to Huffington Post. You could call him a robo-retriever.

But robotic dogs are surely to be treated with caution.

You never know how they’re programmed. You don’t want a robo-retriever lifting his leg at you.

Tailpiece

STOP letting stores use contact-less scanners. They’re not taking your temperature, they’re erasing your memory. I went to buy veggies and salad yesterday and came home with ice cream and a box of doughnuts.

Last word

I HAVE such poor vision I can date anybody.