Far away, a scary drama unfolds

DRAMA swirls in the small East European country of Belarus, once part of the Soviet empire. Dictator of 26 years, Aleksander Lukashenko, has just won yet another election by an 80% majority. But the populace this time say “Fiddlesticks!” and are turning out in their thousands every day – housewives, youngsters, workers in the state-owned factories – peacefully but determinedly demanding that he should go.

Lukashenko says they will have to kill him first. Vladimir Putin, in neighbouring Russia, has offered military support against any external threat. Internally, women continue to protest, carrying flowers of peace. The whole world looks on. Can there be a happy ending? We hold our breath.

Belarus’ other neighbour, Lithuania, is giving sanctuary to the country’s opposition leader, SviatlanaTsikhanouskaya. Lithuania is a Nato member. So are Latvia and Poland, also bordering Belarus. “Fraught” is the word that comes to mind.

Madam chair

DRIVERS licence photographs often aren’t the most flattering. When a Tennessee woman got home with her new licence, which she had just renewed, the photo was of an empty chair, according to Associated Press.

Jade Dodd had renewed the licence online. It turned out that the licensing authorities in the town of Centerville had taken from her file the last photo snapped, which happened to be of the chair she’d earlier been sitting. Luckily she was not stopped for speeding on her way in to get it sorted out.

Natural migration?

IS BRITAIN being invaded by tropical snakes from South America? Not too long ago, allotment holders in South Wales got the fright of their lives when they found a red-tailed 1.8m boa constrictor among their vegetables.

The Royal Society for the Protection of Animals took it to a care facility in the West Midlands.

And now, according to the BBC, an even larger one has been caught slithering along the banks of the Thames, in south-west London. The RSPCA officer who trapped and caught it says it’s in good condition – in other words, been eating well.

Wow! Have all policemen on the Thames beat been accounted for?

It’s presumed these boa constrictors are escaped pets. But could it be possible that we’re experiencing some sort of natural migration? Boa constrictors are excellent swimmers. Could it be that they’re preying on the penguins that are now wandering about Britain? Yes, penguins. Police found a penguin walking up the main street of the Nottinghamshire village of Strelley in the early hours the other morning, according to Sky News. Was it perhaps fleeing from the boa constrictors? They eventually returned this penguin to a farm from which it had wandered.

They’re farming penguins in England? No wonder they can’t stop boa constrictors swimming the Atlantic.

You can’t fight against nature. A hungry boa constrictor is a hungry boa constrictor.

Tailpiece

BRRR! It’s not a cold front that’s making us shiver, it’s just that every bottle store and pub fridge has been switched back on.

Last word

MAKING duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.