Wild and wonderful journey
IT’S still November, but here’s a Christmas story. Every year they place a big Christmas tree outside the Rockefeller Centre in New York. The other day they did it again. A giant Norway Spruce was felled in Oneonta, New York State, and taken on a three-day road trip to the city.
A worker helping to erect the tree found among the branches a tiny Saw-whet owl, one of the smallest varieties in North America, according to Sky News. The poor little fellow had been on the road for three days with nothing to eat or drink.
They got in touch with the Ravensbeard Wildlife Centre, who took delivery of the little owl in a shoebox. In the words of a Ravensbeard staffer: “I peeked in the box and saw this little face looking up at me. He was a little Saw-whet owl, the smallest owls we have in the north-east. All baby owls are born in the spring so the idea that there was a baby owl in November didn’t make sense.
“We’ve given him fluids and are feeding him all the mice he can eat.
“So far so good, his eyes are bright and he seems in relatively good condition with all he’s been through. Once he checks in with the vet and gets a clean bill of health, he’ll be released to continue on his wild and wonderful journey.”
Whoo! Whoo!!
Mystery disappearance
THE Bushiri mystery swirls, but Shepherd Bushiri and his wife couldn’t have used SAA to skip the country. It’s a non-prophet airline.
Woids, woids
A TRUCK loaded with thousands of copies of Roget’s Thesaurus crashed yesterday, losing its entire load. Onlookers were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralysed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed and dumbfounded.
Lockdown blues
OVERHEARD in the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties. “This Covid lockdown has been worse than a divorce. I’ve lost half my net worth and I’ve still got a wife.”
Limerick time
The enjoyment of sex, although great Is in later years said to abate. This well may be so
But how would I know?
I’m now only seventy-eight.
Stockpiling
COVID news. In Germany people are being advised to stockpile cheese and sausages. It’s the Wurst Kase scenario.
Tailpiece
HE WAS fed up with the urban rat-race. He decided to seek enlightenment from the Holy Guru, perched on a mountaintop in the Himalayas.
He gave up his well-paying job. His wife left him. His friends at the country club shunned him. But he set out on his quest for enlightenment.
He crossed oceans. He crossed raging rivers. He crossed blazing deserts. He climbed the mountains. And at last he came upon the Holy Guru, perched on the mountaintop.
“Ah, Holy Guru! At last I see you!”
“I greet you, my son. And what seek you? “I seek enlightenment. I have crossed oceans and raging rivers and deserts to reach you and ask for enlightenment.”
The Holy Guru takes out a smartphone from under his robes.
”Didn’t you try WhatsApp?”
Last word
The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop. PJ O’ROURKE