Female dogs and confusion in France
THESE French bitches … Er, let me rephrase that. Facebook has dealt a devastating blow to male chauvinism. It’s taken down the official page for the French town of Bitche. According to Sky News, the municipal communications officer has created a new Facebook page named after the town’s postal code: Marie 57230. Marie. That’s much better. And panic seems to be spreading among the chauvinists. Another town, Rohrbach-les-Bitche, has taken the precaution of renaming itself on Facebook as Ville de Rohrbach. Yet a post in explanation says: “We let you imagine the reason.” This is accompanied by a winking and laughing emoji.
Double meaning? Sinister? A regrouping of the chauvinists?
It seems this is not the first time the name has caused upset for Americans. Back in 1881, the US embassy was located on the Place de Bitche in Paris. Even though this was long before there was any likelihood of a female ambassador, the Parisian authorities were persuaded to rename the square Place des Etats-Unis.
Er … as you were! Facebook now say the Bitche page was removed in error, and was restored the next day. Those chauvinist villains lost no time regrouping.
Emergency?
HEAD for the bunkers, head for the hills – this looks serious! US Strategic Command put out an unusual tweet reading “;l;;gmlxzssaw.” Whatever could it mean? Dire emergency?
However, according to The Huffington Post, a freedom of information request to the Command revealed that the Twitter manager had left his computer unattended, allowing a young child access to the keyboard.
Phew! We trust they don’t have young kids running around where the “Fire!” and “Bombs Away!” buttons are located.
Snakes alive!
A CONTRIBUTION BY Dr Peter Quantock, of Empangeni, aka Taffy Zulu.
Why couldn’t the viper viper nose? Because the adder adder ankerchief.
It’s probably that fierce Zululand sun that does it.
Strange voice
OVERHEARD in the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties: “There’s a strange voice in my head that’s been saying: ‘Vacuum the floor! Clean the house!’ Luckily, my mom always told me not to listen to strangers …”
Frisbee
ALSO in the Street Shelter: “I was standing in the park wondering why a frisbee gets bigger as it gets closer. Then it struck me.”
Raucous bird
IAN Gibson, poet laureate of Hillcrest, sends us some lines on the African hadedah, which wakes us from our slumbers wherever we are. (Hey, a bit of a rhyme there too!)
The ubiquitous African hadedah, Has a voice that is not ladedah; Really quite raucous
Like a political caucus,
Its call grates from afar.
Tailpiece
A NAVY psychiatrist is assessing a potential recruit.
“What would you do if you looked out the window and saw a battleship coming down the street?”
“I’d give it a torpedo and sink it.” “Ah, and where would you get your torpedo?”
“Same place you got your battleship.”
Last word
An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.