Tory women fight misogyny and sexism
THERE might be a war going on in Ukraine. But in Old Blighty there’s a different war involving mainly Tory women MPs who object to the misogyny and sexism – the groping – by many of their male colleagues.
Also, Tory MP Neil Parish has resigned after being caught out watching pornography on his cellphone in the House of Commons. This seems to have sparked the misogyny/sexism row.
Minister Anne Marie Trevelyan, the Secretary for International Trade, describes on Sky News once being “pinned against a wall” by one of her male colleagues.
MP Caroline Noakes tells the London Independent of a prep school locker room culture in the Commons “except the inmates have not yet got to age 13”.
“The bars are horrible. The receptions are horrible.”
She says she no longer attends the Tory annual conference. “I’ve had some horrible, horrible incidents happen there.
“There is something about politics that attracts a certain type of particularly macho willy-waving man.”
Horrors! This sounds like an inversion of the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties, here in Durban, where the gals drop out of the rafters on to unsuspecting males. But that’s the Street Shelter. In the House of Commons, you expect something more genteel.
I wonder what’s going on in Ukraine?
Toxic mix
AN UNAMED Tory member of the House of Lords told the Guardian that the misogyny/sexism problem is due to a “a toxic mix of stress, and booze and testosterone and power” that was difficult to tackle.
Does this mean that the House of Commons bars could be closed?
No, that would be “excessively puritanical”, says Business Secretary Kwasi Kwarteng, according to Sky News.
Quite so. It would mean eventual victory for the Roundheads and the demise of lubricated democracy as we have come to know it.
Let’s not even think about drastic measures to eliminate testosterone. One winces at the thought.
Senior prank
A SENIOR citizen speaks: “Yesterday my daughter emailed me again asking why I don’t do something useful with my time (as if sitting around the pool drinking wine is not a good thing).
“I decided to play a prank on her. I sent her an email saying I’ve joined the Seniors Parachute Club.
“She replied: ‘Are you crazy? You’re 86 years old and now you’re going to start jumping out of aeroplanes?’
“I told her I even have a membership card and I emailed a copy to her.
“She phoned me back right away and yelled: ‘Good grief, Dad, where are your glasses? This is membership of a Prostitutes Club, not a Parachute Club!’
‘Oh dear, I’m in trouble,’ I said. ‘I signed up for five jumps a week.’
“The line went dead. Life as a senior citizen isn’t getting any easier but sometimes it can be fun.”
Tailpiece
“I DON’T mean to brag but I put together a puzzle in one day – and on the box it said: ‘2 to 4 years’.”
Last word
I SPENT a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered. | GEORGE BEST