Giraffes, elephants, refrigerators, crocs…
A VERY foxy intelligence test comes this way, designed to keep retired folk on their toes.
How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
Stop and think about it and decide on your answer.
Correct answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door.
This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
Elephant test: How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Did you say: “Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the refrigerator?
Wrong answer!
Correct answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.
Lion King test: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend – except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct answer: the elephant. He is in the refrigerator. You just put him there. This tests your memory.
Okay, even if you didn’t answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.
There is a river and you must cross it, but crocodiles live in it. You do not have a boat. How do you manage?
Correct answer: You jump into the river and swim across.
Haven’t you been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Conference.
This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes. According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the retirees they tested got the answers wrong. But many preschoolers got several correct.
Sigh! This conclusively proves that most retirees do not have the brains of a four-year-old.
Bothersome question
A READER writes in with a question that has bothered him since school days.
“When I was in Grade 7, I used to ask a lot of questions. One day I asked my English teacher, why do we ignore some letters in pronunciation such as the letter ‘h’ in ‘hour’, ‘honour’ etc?
“My English teacher said: ‘We are not ignoring them, they are considered silent.’ ”
“I was even more confused. “During lunch break my English teacher gave me her packed lunch and asked me to take it to the cafeteria.
“I ate all the food and returned the empty container.
“My English teacher: ‘What’s this? I told you to go and heat my food and you come back with an empty container!’
“I replied: ‘Miss, I thought the ‘h’ was silent.’ ”
The reader asks that this be dedicated to all English teachers. Kipling verse
A LIMERICK attributed to Rudyard Kipling:
There was a small boy of Quebec Who was buried in snow to his neck. When they said: ‘Are you frizz?’ He replied: ‘Yes I is.
But we don’t call this cold in Quebec.’
Tailpiece
AN IQ BELOW 70 qualifies you for having an intellectual disability.
Now I just need to figure out if that’s in Celsius or Fahrenheit.
Last word
WHEN a man says he approves of something in principle, it means he hasn’t the slightest intention of putting it into practice.
| OTTO VON BISMARCK