A baseball to help the war effort
THIS needs to be very carefully phrased. An American collector who has the signature of celebrities on his balls … er, no, that won’t do at all.
An American collector is to use a baseball signed by President Volodymyr Zelenskiy to assist the Ukrainian war effort.
Renowned collector Randy Kaplan (yes, that’s the correct name) has a collection of balls signed by world leaders.
In 2019, President Zelenskiy autographed a Rawlings Major League baseball for him, according to Huffington Post. Kaplan is now about to auction the baseball and give the proceeds to Ukraine to help fund its war effort.
The ball was expected to fetch about $15 000 (R241 000), but the auctioneers say advance offers already far exceed that.
The ball is signed with black felt tip both in Ukrainian Cyrillic and in Latin letters.
Kaplan started his collection in 1996 when former president Bill Clinton signed a baseball for him at a meeting in Washington DC.
“I am really hoping Zelenskiy survives this war,” Kaplan says. “He’s a very brave man.”
Dead albatross
IN HIS latest grumpy newsletter, investment analyst Dr James Greener socks it to the authorities for continuing to try to save the dead albatross that is SAA.
“As a nation we really need to stop wasting public money on the long dead albatross that is SAA. Several thousand gigabytes of incredibly infuriating and pointless commentary clogged up the internet recently with discussion of the 2018 results for this alleged airline.
“The Auditor-General claims to have ploughed through these financial statements (which apparently are still incomplete and surely always will be as the staff responsible for preparing them must be long gone).
“Results for later years are still in preparation which merely points to the chimera of an imminent sale of the rotting body to an ‘independent private enterprise’. No true private money would buy a business with so many still to be discovered cupboard-bound skeletons lurking.
“Oddly, many who have requested sight of the alleged sale agreement have been ignored.”
Wow! That’s a flea in the ear!
New F1 star
VROOM! Vroom! Vroom! A 4-year-old Dutch child took his mother’s car for an early morning spin while she was still asleep.
It happened in Utrecht, according to Sky News. The youngster woke up as his dad left for work. He found his mom’s car keys, unlocked the car, started it and set off.
But he didn’t get too far, crashing into two parked cars. A bystander found him wandering about in his pyjamas with bare feet. He was unhurt.
The police were called. They contacted the boy’s mother. Taken to the car, they asked him if he knew how to operate it. He unlocked it, put the key in the ignition, put his left foot on the clutch and the other on the gas pedal.
The cops later recorded the incident on Instagram, saying they had found a successor to F1 racing star Max Verstappen. Vroom! Vroom!
Tailpiece
I WAS wondering why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Last word
SOME people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.
| CHARLES BUKOWSKI