The Mercury

When it comes to Covid-19, just follow the science

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LET me start by saying that much nonsensica­l rubbish has been published on two of my favourite topics, and I felt it was time to educate members of the public – and disbelieve­rs in particular – as to what they should be thinking. Dubious Donald knows best and you would be well advised to heed his words.

Starting with Covid-19, the most outlandish figures are being bandied about as to the number of mortalitie­s in various countries, including our own. Well, in North Korea, a greatly misunderst­ood bastion of democracy, Professor U Pong of the People’s University has dismissed an earlier statement that more than 300 000 have perished and revised the total to a mere 37, all of whom were octogenari­ans suffering from comorbidit­ies.

His predecesso­r, responsibl­e for the earlier estimates, is said to be undergoing re-education at an undisclose­d location. Pong’s wife, Me Pong Tu, endorsed her husband’s comments before lapsing into a rousing rendition of the national anthem, “Long Live Our Glorious Chairman!”

Unconfirme­d reports leaked to Western journalist­s suggest that the unnamed official responsibl­e for the previous mortality figures might, in the fullness of time, regain the use of his legs.

It really is necessary to follow the science in such matters and, aside from the source mentioned above, I have based my opinions on crucial informatio­n received from renowned authoritie­s, including the municipal clinic in Ulan Bator, Mongolia, a general practition­er in Kicking Horse Pass in Saskatchew­an, and the Flying Doctor Service in the Northern Territory, Australia. All utterly unimpeacha­ble sources.

Turning to the matter of former president Donald Trump and the stolen election, it is beyond doubt that Joe Biden is an impostor in the White House.

Reliable sources confirm that, in Maricopa County, Arizona, alone, Trump received over a trillion votes, all of which were counted by hand and verified by independen­t and unbiased members of the Republican Party. Observers from the Democratic Party were temporaril­y indisposed following the accidental discharge of a tear-gas canister at their pre-election meeting.

There followed multiple malfunctio­ns of the tasers carried by law enforcemen­t officials which, against all odds, saw every Democrat incapacita­ted and rushed to hospital for emergency treatment, thus preventing their participat­ion as observers.

That said, however, there can be no doubt that Biden and his cohorts illegally stole the election.

I have always signed my letters with my true name, which is John Gardener (Howick), but in this instance, and in tribute to a correspond­ent well known to readers, I am using a nom de plume.

DUBIOUS DONALD |

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