Sexual harassment of the thinly-thatched
A BRITISH tribunal has ruled that to describe a man as “bald” is sexual harassment We, of the thinly-thatched brigade, are astonished.
There are sexual connotations, of course, but they’re positive. We have a slogan: “We don’t waste our hormones growing hair.” Baldness is a badge of masculinity, virility.
According to The Huffington Post, the tribunal also compared calling a man “bald “with commenting on the size of a woman’s breasts. Okay, there could be an element of admiration here, but the overall tone is one of negativity towards baldness.
It happened in Yorkshire where an electrician complained that a foreman called him a “bald….” I won’t complete the expression because it would offend the feminists.
The panel noted that the complainant had not objected to use of the four-letter word, but was offended by being called bald (which is also four letters).
“We have little doubt that being referred to in this pejorative manner was unwanted conduct. This is strong language. Although industrial language was commonplace on this West Yorkshire factory floor, the foreman crossed the line by making remarks personal to the claimant about his appearance.
“It is difficult to conclude other than that he uttered those words with the purpose of violating the complainant’s dignity and creating an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment for him.”
As I say, a most puzzling ruling. We, the thinly thatched fraternity, rejoice in our condition. As they say in West Yorkshire: Ee ba goom!
Beanz meanz…
THINK of Queen Elizabeth if you’re having a picnic. Two of Britain’s bestknown condiments have been given a royal make-over to mark the queen’s Platinum Jubilee.
Heinz has released limited-edition bottles of “HM Sauce” and “Salad Queen” to mark her 70 years on the throne, according to Sky News.
They are available on supermarket shelves for parties, picnics and parades over the four-day bank holiday next month. The bottles could also become souvenirs.
Heinz senior brand manager Anke von Hanstein says: “This is an extraordinary moment for the queen and the great British public, and we want to celebrate this with two of our most well-loved and historic sauces.
“Releasing limited-edition bottles in time for the Jubilee felt like the perfect fit. We hope our customers enjoy these celebratory designs and that they add a squeeze of fun to the Jubilee celebrations, however one is celebrating.”
A recent Opinium Research poll of 2 000 Britons suggested almost 50% see the jubilee as an opportunity to enjoy quintessentially British foods such as afternoon tea, strawberries and cream, and fish and chips.
Nature around us
Commentary on the life that is around us;
Concerning the bees and the flowers, In the fields and the gardens and bowers, You will tell at a glance
That their ways of romance Haven’t any resemblance to ours.
Tailpiece
WHAT do you call a group of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hairline.
Last word
THE statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they’re okay, then it’s you.
| RITA MAE BROWN