The return of the magnificent beaver

BEAVERS are back! A Sky News feature illustrates how a pair of beavers introduced to a stream in West Sussex, England, have created their own wetland. Their dams push back the stream’s flow and create a significant storage of water and enhancement of the local water table.

The Eurasian beaver became extinct in Britain in the 16th century, but there are hopes that its reintroduction could provide considerable environmental benefits.

A population of beavers that mysteriously reappeared on the River Otter in Devon more than 10 years ago has been monitored by wildlife groups ever since.

Studies of their behaviour and its impact will form an important part of the decision-making by Britain’s Department for the Environment and Rural Affairs over whether to reintroduce beavers, and potentially other formerly native species.

The beaver wetlands create habitats for a wide range of plants and animals and are also thought to be useful environments for storing carbon, potentially reducing the emission of the greenhouse gases that cause climate change.

Yes, beavers are back with a bang.

Autocorrect

A VISUAL comes this way showing a mediaeval scribe at his desk writing: “My teacher told me not to worry about spelling because in the future there will be autocorrect. And for that I am eternally grapefruit.”

They said it

MORE statements issued with a confidence that has since evaporated:

◆ “The internet will fade away because most people have nothing to say to each other. By 2005 it will be clear that the internet’s impact on the global economy has been no greater than the fax machine.” Paul Krugman, renowned economist, 1998.

◆ “The idea of a personal communicator in every pocket is nothing more than a pipe-dream fuelled by greed.” Andy Grove, CEO of Intel, 1992.

◆ “The Americans have need of the telephone, but we do not. We have plenty of messenger boys.” William Preece, British Post Office, 1876.

◆ “Before man reaches the moon, your mail will be delivered within hours from New York to Australia by guided missiles. We stand on the threshold of rocket mail.” Arthur Summerfield, US Postmaster-General, 1959.

◆ “Everyone’s always asking me when Apple will come out with a cellphone. My answer is, ‘Probably never.’” David Pogue, the New York Times, 2006.

◆ “Heavier-than-air flying machines are physically impossible.” Lord Kelvin, British mathematician and physicist, 1895.

◆ “No one will ever need more than 637KB of memory in a computer. 640KB ought to be enough for anybody.” Bill Gates, CEO of Microsoft, 1981.

◆ “This ‘telephone’ has far too many shortcomings to be taken seriously as a means of communication. It has objectively no value.” William Orton, President of Western Union, 1876.

Tailpiece

“I JUST finished installing a 5G mast for the local area when this crazy lady runs out of the house and starts throwing bizarre accusations of how 5G is hurting people’s health and what monsters we telecoms guys are. What a screwball!

“4G must’ve fried her brain!”

Last word

DELUSIONS of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself. | JANE WAGNER