From a cat to a chunky bear

INVESTMENT analyst Dr James Greener notes in his latest grumpy newsletter that Larry, the No 10 Downing Street cat, now has a new carer. But that is not a grump, just an observation on events in Blighty. His grump is with the rather chunky bear that has the US bond market in his grip.

“Simply, this means that people with cash to invest have over the past two years been demanding that the borrowers pay increasingly higher interest rates.

“Conventionally the textbooks tell you that this is a manifestation of perceived higher risks in lending money. Even if in this case the borrower – the US government – is considered to be the least risky of all. Recall that they print the world’s reserve currency.

“But the problem probably is that they have been printing a great deal of it recently, because they have an ever-growing list of causes they deem worthy of support.

“Now it appears that there is yet no sign from the White House of any less generosity (profligacy?) in the immediate future, so those interest rates (including the inflation rate) are probably going to keep on drifting higher.”

At which Greener waxes exceeding wroth.

“It’s a mess, and rumour that presidential candidates for 2024 could include all the usual suspects, including Hilary Clinton, should alarm everyone.

“Globally we ought to have a rule that anyone over say 65 years may not hold any political office. It is time for them to learn the arts of golf, fishing and dandling.”

Then another grump. President Ramaphosa was apparently filmed or photographed filling a pothole.

“Our leaders just don’t get it … What we want to see is our president appoint assistants capable of causing pothole repairs to be swiftly and effectively carried out by people skilled and equipped for the task. Importantly, everyone in the responsibility chain from the shovel wielder right up to the Cabinet minister – and of course the president – should be aware that failure to perform will result in being fired.”

Blighty

A NEW angle on events in Blighty … Kenya TV broke the news with an on-screen footer message: “The queen is dead … Charles is now queen.”

This charming blonde

THERE I was being taken along to a “special surprise” eatery by a charming blonde.

Arrived at the eatery, there was another lovely blonde depicted on the wall. She looked familiar. Who were those fellers with her? They also looked familiar.

Then bingo! The gal was Marilyn Monroe. The fellers were Frank Sinatra and the Ratpack.

On a wall a black-and-white movie had Sinatra singing. Hey, blast from the past!

Yes, we were at a new place called Café Monroe with all the atmosphere of a bygone hassle-free age and a lot of humour from owners Craig and Margo Sherrell and their staff. ’Twas a tonic and delicious grub.

I so enjoy being surprised by blondes.

Tailpiece

THE blonde’s computer password had to be eight characters long and include at least one capital. So she made it “MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyWashington”.

Last word

ALL the world’s a cage. | JEANNE PHILLIPS