MARK RUBERY CHESS

The following amusing, and certainly dated, piece of chess satire comes from the late and lamented publication ‘Chess Beast’ a cousin of the excellent if irreverent chess magazine ‘Kingpin’.

“Tired of all that memorization and tactics nonsense? Fed up with falling victim to inferior opponents who are better prepared? Abeauser & Tsceating is excited to offer for the first time to the general public, the new Braille Buddy®

That’s right! Now you, with the help of an accomplice, can destroy even the strongest of opponents with amazingly accurate play.

The Braille Buddy® is a device worn in your armpit (both right and left-handed models available!), that receives input via remote transmitter from your PIC (Partner In Crime).

Simply lean back in your chair and fold your arms across your chest as if in deep thought, surreptitiously placing your fingers over the Braille Buddy®, and - SHAZAM! Your PIC has just transmitted to you the correct forcing reply to your opponent’s awkward pawn advance. The warm reassuring feeling you will get from such an unobtrusive device will be interpreted by your opponent as cool confidence. No one will really know why they call you Fritz!

And your secret is safe with us. Abeauser & Tsceating keeps only numbered accounts for the protection of your privacy.

In keeping with the tradition of The Royal Game, Braille Buddy® comes standard with descriptive notation output, and a beautiful cloth carrying case free of charge.(Algebraic notation upgrade: $50 US).

Abeauser & Tsceating cannot be held liable for any misuse of this product.

It is the responsibility of the buyer to read and adhere to the terms and conditions set forth in the Owner’s Manual.

Batteries not included.”

Since this article technology has advanced at a furious rate and there are contentions that underhand methods may have permeated through to even the highest levels of the game…

A curious situation arose during the last round encounter between Sveshnikov and Inarkiev during the 2001 Russian Championship.

Sveshnikov seeing that his last move allowed 1...Nc4+ winning the rook, apparently offered his resignation. Then on realising that it was in fact stalemate after 2 Ka4 Rxb8 draw, he withdrew it. He claimed that technically he did not offer the resignation and an arbiter asked them to continue. The game went on for another 60 moves, and just when Sveshnikov could claim a draw (they had passed the 50 move point without a pawn being moved and a piece been captured) he decided to resign as he did not feel right about what occurred (!)

‘Used properly, a book of “traps” will be useful without a doubt. Learn from others’ mistakes – you haven’t time to make them all yourself.’ (D J Morgan)