Sportiness rules in Alabama
A FELLOW crashed his car outside a Bass Pro Shop – fishing, hunting, boating and sporting gear – in Leeds, Alabama, in the US.
But, according to Associated Press, he took the sporting side of things a little too far.
He went inside the shop, stripped down to his birthday suit and plunged into the giant aquarium that is inside.
It happened in front of startled shoppers.
The fellow then did a “cannonball” leap into the aquarium, then stood under a waterfall.
He left the water to yell at two officers, then dived back in.
He eventually climbed over the side of the aquarium and fell to the concrete floor below. Police arrested him.
He faces several charges including public lewdness, disorderly conduct and criminal mischief.
Yes, sporting behaviour indeed. They sure know how to live it up in Alabama.
Famous streaker
AND now a limerick on the theme of nakedness:
“Strip Leofric said, and you’ll find I’ll take off the tax you’ve in mind.” So Godiva, she streaked,
And nobody peeked,
Except Peeping Tom, who went blind.
Baby lemur
A RARE baby dancing lemur – a critically endangered species with the most beautiful bright eyes – has made its first public appearance at Chester Zoo, in England, according to the BBC.
The new arrival was born last September to parents Beatrice and Elliot, following a five-month pregnancy. The keepers have not yet ascertained its sex.
The species, also known as Coquerel’s Sifaka – is found only on Madagascar and is at risk due to widespread deforestation.
May the new arrival dance their way into the affections of the people of Chester.
Tailpiece
A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday.
They arrive at the club and the doorman says: “Hey, Dave! How ya doin’?”
His wife asks if he’s been to this club before.
“Oh no,” says Dave. “He’s on my bowling team.”
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he’d like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife, becoming uneasy, asks: “How did she know you drink Budweiser?”
“She’s in the Ladies’ Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them.”
A stripper then comes over, throws her arms around Dave, and says: “Hi Davey.
“Want your usual table dance, big boy?”
At which Dave’s wife grabs her handbag and storms out of the club.
Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab.
Before she can close the door, he jumps in beside her.
He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.
She’s screaming at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.
The cabby turns his head and says: “Looks like you got a fiery one tonight, Dave.”
Last word
The whole dream of democracy is to raise the proletarian to the level of stupidity attained by the bourgeois. – Gustave Flaubert