Pos­i­tive signs of hap­pi­ness and health

The Mercury - - METRO - ROD SMITH RodESmith122@gmail.com

FIVE ways I know ther­apy clients are be­com­ing health­ier and health­ier: They be­come more play­ful and have more hu­mour about their lives and their cir­cum­stances. A de­gree of healthy self-dep­re­ca­tion en­ters their aware­ness. They have more push­back on mat­ters – their de­gree of com­pli­ance lessens in ev­ery as­pect of their lives. “Door­mat no longer” is their motto and they ad­dress life’s is­sues as if they are fi­nally in charge of them­selves. Their con­cern with be­ing per­ceived as “nice” or “help­ful” or “agree­able” di­min­ishes in ex­change for be­ing re­garded as strong and kind, de­lib­er­ate and pro­pelled by a mis­sion. They have a rea­son to live and that mis­sion is not con­nected only to a spouse or to chil­dren or grand­chil­dren. They be­come more and more aware of how their com­pli­ance in the past has re­sulted in al­low­ing peo­ple to treat them poorly – and they put a stop to it. They be­gin to en­joy life more than they did be­fore, even if very lit­tle ac­tual change has oc­curred. They have come to terms with the re­al­ity that in­ner heath, for­give­ness, and per­sonal ful­fil­ment are all in­side jobs, with very lit­tle to do with oth­ers.

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