How should we honour the dead?
HOW do we honour a dead person in a way befitting of his or her stature? In our culture, whether African or otherwise, the mantra: ‘never speak ill of the dead’ always applies. So that is why, when you attend the funeral of even the most vile of members of our society, you will find people paying tribute to them and not mentioning the plethora of negative things that person has done.
Why pretend? If you can not find anything to say that is positive, then leave it and do not try to reinvent them. I read recently that a person of questionable morals was buried in Zimbabwe. His friends threw condoms in his grave and some went stark naked as a tribute to how he lived his life. He was well known for his liking for prostitutes so people felt that his send-off should reflect the way he lived. Many people were appalled by what they saw and felt that the shenanigans that went on had no place at a funeral. What do you think?
When the dead person was indeed a good person and made a positive contribution to society we seldom go out of our way to sing their praises. Many people who contributed immensely to the new South Africa have been buried via low key funerals and their deeds hardly remembered.
A new trend of provincial funerals, official funerals and state funerals is also being seen, with people clamouring for a depart- ed soul to receive one of the three forms of funerals as a way to honour him or her. Unfortunately, the criteria to be used to declare these is not quite clear.
Senzo Meyiwa, the stop gap Bafana Bafana captain, received one of these official funerals. Months later, the award winning traditional music icon and presenter Saba Mbixane passed away. Many felt that he deserved one of these funerals. They applied to President Jacob Zuma but the request was not acceded to. Should he have received one? What is the proper way to honour a life well lived?
It is time that clear criteria are set for such official funerals. In their absence people will see this as nothing but an arbitrary process that seeks to honour only those to whom the president is favourably disposed. Another conundrum is what to do about a person who made a positive contribution but who has lived in abject poverty or obscurity before he died? A case in point is Happyboy Mgxaji. He entertained a generation in the 70s and early 80s in boxing, but died a poor man. Hundreds of thousands were spent by the Eastern Cape government to bury him in grandeur. There are countless others who were part of the struggle whose deeds went unnoticed and received low-key funerals. The question is: Should we wait until the person is dead to recognise his contribution to society?