JCW’s a piranha amongst its peers
Like all Minis, the John Cooper Works gets its mojo on in corners
LIFE as a pet fish can be boring. Or it would be, if the fish was bright enough to realise that it’s already swum the bowl before. With their reputed three-second memory (don’t ask me how scientists verified this), every lap of the bowl is a new experience to our finned friend.
The fish experience has parallels with the Mini, not because it requires any absent-mindedness on the part of a Mini owner but in the sense that there are so many different Mini experiences available, depending on which one you drive.
Since BMW revived the old British badge it’s conjured up no less than eight different body styles for the Mini including the hatch (3 and 5 door), Clubman station wagon, Countryman SUV, Paceman crossover, Coupé, Roadster, and Convertible.
It’s become a fully-fledged brand and there’s no such thing as a generic Mini anymore, although the common thread running through the range is a fleet-footed driving experience.
The brand has its fans and detractors in terms of its image, but I’ve never met a Mini that didn’t put a smile on my face when I guided it rapidly through a twisty road. Cramped they may be (Clubman and Countryman excepted) and they have a reputation for a spine-jarringly firm ride, but every Mini I’ve driven gets its mojo on in the corners.
Driven fast or slow, a Mini generally behaves in the manner of a dog dancing around at your feet begging you to throw the ball. It wants to play. Nowhere does this eager nature apply more than in the latest John Cooper Works 3-door hatch, the most powerful exponent of the family.
It wheelspins into town with a boosted version of the 141kW/300Nm 2-litre turbo engine found in the Cooper S. With outputs boosted to 170kW and 320Nm, this motorsport-derived four-cylinder is the most powerful engine used in any production Mini to date.
A reworked exhaust gives a matching growl to the added bite, and the track-attack ability is improved with race-tuned sports suspension and a Brembo brake system.
Visual subtlety is not the JCW’s strong point and it basically looks like a race car without the sponsor stickers, decked out with its 17” JCW Race Spoke light-alloy wheels, sporty front apron with large cooling air inlets, distinctive side sill and rear apron design, and a rear spoiler.
The interior’s revved-up with JCW sports seats, steering wheel, and gear lever, along with the obligatory stainless-steel pedals and driver footrest. An anthracite roof liner imparts a darker feel to the cabin.
The box of extra-cost goodies for the JCW includes options like 18” mags, bonnet stripes, head-up display and park distance control, to name a few.
Mini claims the JCW’s performance figures at a 246km/h top speed and a sea-level 0-100km/h sprint in just 6.3 seconds for the 6-speed manual version and 6.1 seconds for the 6-speed Steptronic automatic.
Our own test of the automatic version in Gauteng just about matched the factory figures, with the car racing to the 100km/h mark in 6.2 seconds. Because it’s lighter and has a better power-to-weight ratio, the Mini outguns all other hot hatches in this price range including the VW Golf GTI (6.6 secs), Opel Astra OPC (6.8 secs), Renault Megane RS (6.9 secs) and Ford Focus ST (7.4 secs) - all these cars were tested by us at the same venue using the same Vbox equipment.
It’s an easy car to fire off the line with its launch control system. Also, the fuel consumption averaged 9.3, an impressively economical figure given the performance on offer.
Lapping a handling track confirmed what a well-sorted chassis the quickest Mini has. With its ultra direct steering and understeer-reducing Electronic Differential Lock the car changes direction with the swiftness of a startled fish, but stability control keeps it all controllable and relatively civilised. The power coursing through the front wheels is kept in check by Torque Steer Compensation, which keeps the steering steady in your hands when you hammer the throttle.
The ride’s predictably firm, although it’s improved noticeably over the previous-generation Mini JCW and you survive most trips with your teeth fillings intact. Still, if you want a more practical daily ride, it might be wise to spend R6 200 on the smoother-gliding Electronic Damper Control option.
A twist of a switch selects between standard, sport or green driving modes which noticeably affect the car’s driving character. Sport quickens the throttle and blurts a louder bark through the exhaust. Fuel-saving green mode dulls the responses, but you can amuse yourself by trying to keep a virtual goldfish happy in the dashboard’s giant central display. Drive economically and you earn stars which feed the goldfish; drive with a heavy foot and goldfish goes hungry. True story. VERDICT At R441 436 the Mini John Cooper Works hatch comes with a maxi pricetag, but it does offer the most ballistic performance in this corner of the hot-hatch pond, and possibly the sharpest handling. It’s the piranha amongst its peers.