Feeling anxious, down? Be a man! Get some help

WHEN Martin Masilela* started having anxiety attacks, he was ashamed and did not tell his family or even the doctor.

“I felt that admitting to being depressed would make me less of a man. From a young age I was taught to be strong and in control of things,” Masilela said.

Health professionals say Masilela is one of the many men who fail to deal with anxiety and depression.

Anxiety affects nearly one in five adults in South Africa, the South African Stress and Health (Sash) study states.

Sash investigated the lifetime prevalence of common mental disorders, and anxiety disorders were found to be the most prevalent class of lifetime mental disorders at 15.8% .

On average, one in eight men will have depression and one in five will experience anxiety at some stage of their lives.

And even though statistics point to women being twice as likely to suffer from anxiety disorders, the reason might be more social than scientific.

Dr Ian Westmore, member of the South African Society of Psychiatrists said the stigma associated with anxiety disorders considers the condition as “unmanly” and a sign of weakness.

He says “this is the very reason men are less likely to talk about their anxiety, and instead drown it with poor coping behaviours, increasing their risk of anxiety or depression to go unrecognised and untreated”.

Westmore said men are far less likely to seek support due to the “macho male stereotype”, “man up” and “boys don’t cry” mentality.

“It’s this attitude portrayed as being brave and fearless that leads to men considering themselves in a negative light if they suffer from anxiety.

“And for this very reason, they see it as putting themselves in a vulnerable position when seeking help.

“Society expects a lot from men. They’re expected to be seen as confident, in control, the decision makers and the decisive voice of reason and rational.

“They are many times portrayed as the rock with a steady hand and mind in times of trouble or uncertainty.

“They are stereotyped as the provider, protector, being dependable, confident, and fearless.”

Westmore said if left untreated, anxiety presents itself in many forms like gambling, drugs and reckless behaviour.

“When I realised that I was trying to deal with the anxiety by going out partying and drinking a lot, I knew it was time to deal with my demons.

“By getting help, I am slowly learning that there is no shame in being anxious or taking medicine to cope with my condition,” Masilela said.

* not his real name