Parents must stop spoiling their kids and giving in to them
I AM frightened when I see how young parents of today are bringing up their little ones. It’s so easy: no fuss, no bother. Just give the child the remote and the cellphone and you are free of them.
What’s all this nonsense about discipline? The teacher says my little angel is so badly behaved, restless and disruptive in class. What if it’s the teacher’s fault, who doesn’t know how to discipline little children? From early morning till late at night the child sits on the sofa glued to the TV.
So engrossed is the loved one that nothing you do in front of him/her will distract them from the TV. And when he/she eventually hears you, there’s the blank look on his/her face and he/she just mumbles something. But take the remote away, then all hell breaks loose. The kid will scream, kick and try to grab the remote from you.
More often than not you will succumb to the tantrum just to keep the peace. The little brat has won. And what if mummy wants to watch her favourite soapie? That’s no problem. Just give your loved one the cellphone. Watch how adept a 2-year old toddler is with it.
What about food? That’s no problem. If you are the lazy type order fast food online and have it delivered at your door. Or just fill the kid up with junk food or some sugary snacks and he/she will be fine for the whole day. What about playing games and exercise? That, too, is not important. The kid would rather be inside the house than outside. It’s not safe these days for children to play outdoors.
But this is an old story and perhaps an over-reaction to a few incidents of kidnapping and crime on children. Raising a child is so different these days. While we acknowledge that times are bad, parents don’t need to be over-protective and keep children locked up in their homes. We spent most of our time outdoors, playing hide and seek, three tins and hopscotch.
Today’s children are housebound and spend the entire day watching TV or playing video games. They would never have heard of three tins and hopscotch. Another modern-day trend is pampering the child with expensive birthday parties, gifts and toys. You often hear young parents proudly saying that their kids are not short of anything. Whatever the kids desire they gets. What a change from the good old days! Today’s yuppie parents try to win over a child’s affection by giving him/her lots of things. A roomful of toys is not an exaggeration. Often the toys lie scattered all over the house, the child showing no interest in them. And when the child performs poorly in school an exasperated mother throws up her arms in despair and says, “I don’t know what’s wrong. I give my child everything.”
That’s exactly what’s wrong: giving the child everything. He/She grows up wanting more and more, and is never satisfied. Parents are quick to blame the pandemic. They say it’s out of their control.
With the lockdown and schools closed for lengthy periods, they have no choice but keep children indoors. While we all agree that the pandemic has turned the world upside down, it is still not reason enough to abandon your role of parenthood.
Long periods in front of the telly and the cellphone come at a price. Short-sightedness, lack of concentration, poor performance in school and discipline are growing problems among these young TV addicts. The TV has always been a challenge to teachers – to make their lessons as attractive as possible to gain the interest of their bleary-eyed learner.
It’s not the children but the parents who are at fault. They often lack parenting skills. They think they are far more knowledgeable and advanced than the older generation who have gone through the mill and don’t need their advice. “What does the old goat know?”
And so this tussle between the younger and the older generation goes on. What the younger generation often doesn’t realise is that older folk are doing it out of love and concern for their children. They don’t want them to make the same old mistakes they made.
Soon it will be back to school and parents cannot wait for the day when they can bundle off the spoilt brats to school and pass the burden onto the teachers. You spoil them, someone else must straighten them.