HIV: SURVIVING THE STIGMA

T HAS been about seven years since 16-year-old Alyssa* found out she was HIV positive. On that day, she also found out why.

“I was raped when I was three years old.”

The accused rapist, her uncle, died in jail several years ago after passing along the illness that will be with Alyssa for the rest of her life.

“It’s part of life,” she said. “I have to live with it.”

When she was in Grade 3, the teenager started asking her caregivers questions about why she always had to take medication and her friends did not.

Alyssa said while at first she did not completely understand what having HIV meant, she soon accepted her positive status as part of her life and moved on.

“The easy way is just to forget about it. You have to just move on and forget about what happened,” she said.

While she has accepted her status for herself, Alyssa does not trust her peers to have the same level of understanding.

Nomsa Mabaso of The Tshepang Trust, an HIV prevention, care and treatment campaign, said: “If it’s (disclosing) difficult for an adult, what about the kids? They are scared of rejection. When it comes to kids, the stigma is still there.”

Alyssa said only one of her friends knew her status. She was too scared to share the information with her boyfriend and other friends.

“I don’t trust people. Some people, they just betray you,” she said. “And it’s too difficult to tell other people so I just keep it to myself.”

The ignorance around how the virus can be transmitted

Imakes it difficult for teens to share with partners. Many will assume they have been “sleeping around” when they may have contracted the virus prenatally or, as in Alyssa’s case, through rape.

Disclosing a romantic partner, in particular, can be difficult for teenagers.

Pholokgolo Ramothwala, the director of Positive Connection Network, works with many young teens and helps them decide when and how to disclose to their partners.

He encourages teenagers to wait until they are ready and their partner is ready.

“In some cases, especially in relationships, people break up,” Ramothwala said. “I’ve witnessed a break-up in front of me. The woman said, ‘no, thank you very much but I cannot date someone who has got HIV’, and she stood up and walked away.”

Even romantic relationships are not at play, the virus can be isolating. Mabaso said some teenagers will withdraw from their peers, especially at school, because they felt they were too different from other kids.

But Alyssa is not alone. She has found support groups that she can turn to.

“It helps a lot to know that I’m not the only person. I’m not the only teenager who’s also HIV positive,” she said.

“We talk about other stuff and just forget.”

For those teens who may be struggling to accept their status and continue with their lives, she offered some advice: “It’s not a bad thing to be HIV positive. It’s not like it’s a deadly disease. There is treatment. Just move on.”

* Not her real name.