SA needs to learn empathy

LOCKDOWN exposes society’s impatient and discriminatory attitude towards mentally ill children.

Teaching your children to be resilient is key to boosting their self-esteem. However, society remains a threat to parents’ efforts to raise mentally ill children with self-confidence.

Where I stay, a 36-year-old single mother is raising her mentally challenged son who, at times, makes an unbearable noise. He makes the noise when he wants to be freed and granted permission to play with other kids.

His mother has to restrain him from engaging with other kids to protect him from rejection and bullying.

That rejection comes from parents who are scared he might harm their children.

Remarks are made in WhatsApp groups that his mother belongs to. No one is talking to her, but everyone is talking about her.

This is bullying and one must think of the impact this has on the child.

The South African Depression and Anxiety Group (Sadag) states that in South Africa suicide is the second biggest – and fastest-growing – cause of death. Children as young as 7 have committed suicide. Every day, 22 people take their lives.

Does society care about the mental health of mothers of mentally ill children? NO.

Yet these are mothers who sacrifice a lot to see their children happy and healthy despite being mentally challenged.

Navigating the journey of raising a mentally ill child is a challenge on its own for any parent, married or single.

This boy’s mother doesn’t leave her home often; she is lonely too and rejected.

The boy’s father abandoned them after realising their son was mentally ill. The blame was on the mother. That’s absurd.

Let’s debunk the stigma that says mothers who give birth to mentally ill children are a disgrace in our communities. Such views reveal the broader issue of how we as a country receive mentally challenged people in society. The Life Healthcare Esidimeni tragedy is an example. The deaths of 143 people at psychiatric facilities in Gauteng from causes including starvation and neglect was a catastrophe that reflected how society treats mentally ill citizens.

The young mother in my complex doesn’t talk to people because she doesn’t belong. She is in a dark corner alone and no one bothers to reach out to her. Her silence about her pain and distress devastates me. We all need to be heard and helped where we lack strength. That’s called support.

According to statistics released by Sadag, as many as one in six South Africans suffer from anxiety, depression or substance-abuse problems (and this does not include more serious conditions such as bipolar disorder or schizophrenia). Statistics also reveal that only 27% of South Africans reporting severe mental illness ever receive treatment. This means that nearly three-quarters of these sufferers are not accessing any form of mental health care. In addition, stigmas surrounding mental health pose a major stumbling block when it comes to treating the disease.

Mothers raising mentally challenged children deserve some empathy. As we celebrate Mother’s Day, let’s keep checking up on single mothers who are caring for mentally challenged children at home.