Mind Power – Life tools
Are you STUCK in a rut? WORKING with a LIFE COACH will give YOU the MIND TOOLS needed to CHANGE GEARS.
The era of the self-help book is making way for the new kid in motivation town: the life coach. Success seekers agree these could provide the tools to get to the top, and there’s validity in their arguments. But why does anyone need life coaching?
“If you want to change your life and need the guidance to do so, then life coaching is the way to go. Coaches are more focused on your goals – where you want to be and help you get there,” explains Dr Nadine Dunn. Another life coach Tumi Moloto of TM Change Consulting adds that a life coach will, “Unearth your talent, understand your strengths and show you how to leverage on them to achieve your goals.”
You might ask how the likes of Oprah Winfrey, Bill Clinton and other prominent people stay on track and in control of their personal lives, ambitions and dreams. The secret they all share is Tony Robbins, a well known life coach who says that people come to him when they’re in a slump and need to turn things around. For example, tennis star Serena Williams calls him to align her drive with what she wants to accomplish, helping her to break through and conquer what’s tripping her up.
“I help people find a way to break through from where they are to where they want to be,” said Robbins in one interview, adding that: “I’ve learned very quickly how to get
inside somebody’s brain, figure out what limits them, break through and move them on so they’re able to maximise their power and performance.”
An excerpt from a masters’ thesis published at Pepperdine University in California shows that those who received coaching increased their life satisfaction and improved their personal growth. Those who didn’t receive any coaching, did not improve their life satisfaction or their personal growth initiative over that time.
TRUE LOVE reader Bulelwa, 37 can attest to making a breakthrough after working with a coach. “I found myself stuck in a rut with everything – from work to personal life. I wasn’t happy and needed to move on or change something, but I didn’t know what or how until I found a couch.” Two years later, Bulelwa’s moved abroad and is happy. “I’m doing what I love – selling vintage furniture – and I have the most beautiful man. He’s going to travel to SA soon for my lobola negotiations.”
Executive coach at Bridge Consulting, Robert Craig affirms that coaching creates a gear change: “It creates a conversation that you wouldn’t ordinarily have with yourself. It helps to build your own path to get somewhere better in life.”
DO YOU NEED TO CHANGE GEARS?
In his book Self-Motivation Diary of A Born Optimist, empowerment coach Jamal Lanre Shashore first asks: “Have you ever wondered why all attempts to achieve certain goals in your life end up in frustration? Maybe you’re keen to change your personal circumstances but don’t know where to begin?”
Shashore encourages us to challenge the negative thoughts standing between us and what we want to accomplish. He believes that our thoughts and emotions can have an effect on how we perceive ourselves. “Ultimately, whatever we think about ourselves (and especially the negative) become what we believe to be true, and these impact inner strength, resources, and capacities for problem solving in difficult situations. Focussing on our shortcomings becomes second nature, and hold us back from achieving success.”
Moloto adds that having a life coach is like holding up a mirror – your coach can help you see who you really are and assist in making your dreams a reality.
“Coaching helps to get your vision and who you are in the core so that you can channel who you are as a person, what you want, your strengths and turn it into success. You need to be in control of your destiny, but external circumstances often hold us back from achieving those.”
FIND YOUR COACH
Your life coach ultimately holds the keys to your next open door, so finding someone you’re compatible with and who you trust is key. Coach and owner of Shift Me Coaching, Lindelwa Khoza, says that just like any other partnership in life, finding a coach should be about chemistry.
“Be prepared to design the partnership with the coach. Think of a strong partnership that you currently have in your work or life. Look at how you built that relationship and what is important to you about it. You will want to build those same things into a coaching relationship.” Here aremore tips: Shop around to find your match. Interview more than one coach to determine “what feels right” in terms of the chemistry. Coaches are accustomed to being interviewed, and an introductory conversation of this type is usually free of charge. Look for stylistic similarities and differences between you and the coach, and consider how these might support your growth as an individual. Discuss your goals within the context of the coach’s speciality or the coach’s preferred way of working with an individual. Talk with the coach about what to do if you ever feel things are not going well. Make some rules upfront on how to handle questions or problems. Remember that coaching is a partnership, so be assertive when talking with the coach about any problems or concerns you may have. Besides chemistry and compatibility, Moloto adds that it’s important to make sure the person you choose is legit and not an imposter. “There are so many people claiming to be coaches. Always look for one who’s part of the various associations to know they’re accredited. We have Coaches and Mentors of South Africa (COMENSA), and there’s also the International Coach Federation (ICF). These professional bodies make sure the coaches are trained, have specific competencies and abide by certain standards.”