Lewin of­fers a few tips if you still want your part­ner’s for­give­ness:

1. Al­low space and time to heal. Give him the free­dom to ex­pe­ri­ence the full range of emo­tions, from anger to grief and frus­tra­tion. Re­as­sure him of your love and apol­o­gise for caus­ing so much heartache.

2. Never blame him. No one can push you into be­trayal — that’s a per­sonal choice. If you feel hurt or be­trayed at any point, re­mem­ber you had a choice to leave. None of these emo­tions war­rant cheat­ing.

3. Don’t force him to ‘get over it’. Heal­ing and restor­ing trust are pro­cesses that can take long. If you did the crime, you must be wil­ing to do the time — be pa­tient.

4. Be trans­par­ent. Breach­ing your part­ner’s trust means you lose your right to pri­vacy — it may be tem­po­rary or long term. Don’t keep any se­crets. If you are be­hav­ing with in­tegrity, there will be noth­ing to hide.

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