REBUILDING

Lewin offers a few tips if you still want your partner’s forgiveness:

1. Allow space and time to heal. Give him the freedom to experience the full range of emotions, from anger to grief and frustration. Reassure him of your love and apologise for causing so much heartache.

2. Never blame him. No one can push you into betrayal — that’s a personal choice. If you feel hurt or betrayed at any point, remember you had a choice to leave. None of these emotions warrant cheating.

3. Don’t force him to ‘get over it’. Healing and restoring trust are processes that can take long. If you did the crime, you must be wiling to do the time — be patient.

4. Be transparent. Breaching your partner’s trust means you lose your right to privacy — it may be temporary or long term. Don’t keep any secrets. If you are behaving with integrity, there will be nothing to hide.