Mind Power – Tips On Bravery

Learn how to overcome fear and trust that the Universe – whatever that means in your life – always has your back!

Imagine living your best life, in the fullest expression of your being — this could be working at your dream job, studying abroad, or starting your own business. Now, ask yourself what it is that’s stopping you? Very often, the answer is fear. Although our dreams are meticulously planned, and they are what we turn to when things get rough, for many, it’s easier if dreams remain just that – a dream. Instead of trying to make a change, fear of the unknown creeps in. Instead of branching out and exploring new things, we remain stuck.

WHY WE GET STUCK

Human beings are creatures of habit and fear change, says Steven Feinstein, managing director of Indigo View, a personal development company. Feinstein adds that many people subscribe to the ‘better the devil you know than the one you don’t’ notion, which then keeps them stuck in the very place they’re trying to get out of.

“Human beings are terrified of change, so we don’t do anything to change our current situation because we don’t know what will happen,” he explains. “We

would rather stay in the shadow parts of our lives because we are so fluent in it,” he continues.

Negative reinforcement also has a big part to play. Margaret Hirch, entrepreneur and co-founder of multimillion Rand appliance and electronic retail company Hirch’s, says the fear of trying out new things is often the result of being told ‘No’ too many times, and experiencing setbacks in early childhood. “Imagine you’re a child and you were so happy, and everybody loved you and everything you did was cute and fabulous. Then as the years went by, you grew up and weren’t so cute and fabulous anymore. Every time you went out to touch something, you were told, ‘Don’t touch that’,” she explains. Later in life, teachers and managers continue to tell you what you can and can’t do.

This, added to other disappointing life experiences, such as not getting the jobs we want or being disappointed by our love interests, causes us to create barriers to protect ourselves from disappointment. The ‘Nos’ keep piling up, until we no longer trust that we can do anything worthwhile. Hirch says that by the time opportunities worth grabbing with both hands come up, you think to yourself, ‘I can’t do that – what if something goes wrong?’

WHAT KEEPS US FEARFUL

If you’ve ever tried to motivate yourself into trying something new, it may seem as though you’re wading through a pool of jelly. Often what’s happening is that you’re listening to your ego. “The way that the ego works is always through the past and the future. We concern ourselves with past events and failed relationships, and we’re constantly using the past to compare to our current state,” Feinstein explains.

In spiritual terms, everyone has an ego. It’s not only limited to people with an inflated sense of themselves. Ekhart Tolle, who’s a world renowned spiritual teacher and author of A New Earth, explains in an episode of SuperSoul Sunday that, “The ego can also turn up in feelings of self-hatred because ego is any image you have of yourself that gives you a sense of identity. That identity derives from the things you tell yourself and the things other people have been saying to you that you’ve decided to accept as truth.”

Every setback and challenge becomes ingrained in our psyche and that’s the story we tell ourselves about our potential to achieve great things. Feinstein, who also works as an acting coach, says this is something he hears often from his students. “Instead of going for an audition that hasn’t happened yet, they think about the one that didn’t go so well, and then assume that the future one won’t go well either,” he says.

It’s this constant move from fixating on the past, to focusing on the future, that stops us from doing the things we want to do, but are afraid to try, Feinstein states. That energy can be used to imagine a greater outcome than the one we plan.

“When we’re present, we’re fully available for this moment in time, and we recognise that in this moment there’s no past or future and everything is as it is,” Feinstein says.

It can be terrifying to move out of your comfort zone. Many people think successful people are fearless gladiators who possess ten times more bravery than they do. However, everyone can cultivate courage – it just takes work. “Courage is not a single event, and being brave is not something that you do once and then you check it off your list,” Feinstein explains. On the other side of fear, Hirsch says, are the best experiences of our life. “My husband is terrified of heights, so when we went bungee jumping, I bought him a shirt that read, ‘Feel the fear, but do it anyway’. He had the fear, but he did it anyway and he has never looked back since,” Hirch says.

Instead of looking at change through a fearful lens, it can be viewed as an opportunity to grow. As children, we graduated from one grade to another with excitement, even though we had no idea what the next year of school held. We were able to trust that our previous year prepared us to take on the new tasks set before us.

Feinstein says the very things we fear are the things we should be excited about. “The very thing you’re afraid of, is the thing you’re being told to do. It’s only when you do it that you discover what you’re made of, and that you can actually do more. There’s no such thing as ‘I can’t’,” Feinstein advises.