TOUGH LOVE IN PRACTICE

Amanda Ndlangisa, mom to a 10-year-old girl: “I’m a long distance parent, so I overcompensate a lot. But, when needed, I let her cry and later explain why I refuse to do what she’s demanding. I let her work through her feelings and get her to explain why she feels things should be done her way. By chatting about it, we understand each other better.”

Hope Magubane, mom to a 7-year-old girl: “You need to know your child. When mine was younger, we’d spank her but found that it didn’t work and neither did the ‘naughty corner’ or telling her to stay in her room. My daughter responds better if we talk to her about her behaviour. When she was four, we started implementing an awards chart. Everytime she’d do something good, like cleaning after herself, we’d give her a sticker and after a certain number of them, she’d get a treat.”

Sibongile Dambuza, mom to a 5-year-old boy: “I try to make my son understand that he’s not always going to get what he wants, especially when he throws tantrums in public. I usually say ‘No’, and stand firm so he learns that not every visit to town is a shopping spree.”

Lehlohonolo Tladi, mom of two: “I always explain why what they did was wrong, or why I decided on certain actions. I first compose myself, then ask why they saw it fit to act the way they did. Then, I make them understand the consequences of their behaviour. I need them to learn that I punish because I love them.”