Mind Power – #NoBooze
BUHLE MBETE walks us through her 30-day hiatus from booze — a journey that’s taught her to make sound decisions
After the sweetness of turning 16 and the legal liberation that comes with finally turning 18, the twenties are pretty much
haphazard. Let me start by saying, I love my drink. For the longest time now, I’ve been the person who tops off empty glasses and mixes lethal cocktails. I’m the one who “doesn’t trust people who don’t drink” because, I mean, what’s your sober-self scheming while the rest of us are dancing on table tops? But there’s something about 2019 that has forced me to think – and act – differently, which brings me back to my age. I want to make this year count. I want to win! Claiming my [late] 20s and being intentional about my actions, is one of the simplest yet transformative things I can do for my work, family, love, happiness, and future. I had this Aha! moment, where I realised that I needed to design and plan my life differently. Most importantly, I wanted to add to the quality of my living experience.
In an effort to be a better person and grow continually, I decided to look into the things I’ve actually committed to. Aside from the expected, like going to varsity, securing a job and being a good human, it turns out that I’ve actually committed to a few other things, without even realising it. The truth is, I’ve never understood why discipline and commitment are so important. I’m slow in understanding that those are the strongest forms of selflove. Discipline is being able to ignore instant gratification for bigger rewards to come, and loving yourself enough to make space for everything you’ve ever wanted. In a nutshell, that’s what accepting this no-booze challenge was about – building mental strength, understanding that just because I’m used to doing something, it doesn’t mean it always has to be that way, and taking steps to achieve my personal goals for the year.
#NOALCOHOLFOR30DAYS
“I bet you feel amazing!” people would exclaim, as I pretended to be thoroughly enjoying whatever underwhelming nonalcoholic beverage I was drinking, while they downed their delicious cocktails and toasted to ‘life’. The first two weekends were the most difficult. I started the challenge on Wednesday, 15 January, and just four days in, I was confronted with a potentially difficult scenario. My
family was coming over for the weekend, and because I was raised by a liberal mother and her equally-carefree four sisters, I’m allowed to have a drink with them. If anything, I’m quite certain that they expected me to always have a glass in hand throughout their visit. So, every time I was asked to top up someone’s glass, I’d reminded myself of the no-booze vow I’d made to myself. “You promised to commit, Bee,” I’d mumble under my breath.
One of the toughest days was Monday, 21 January. I had a long day at work. The kind where you sulk, call that one friend who’s always down for a drink, or two or three (that’s usually me, by the way) and just vent. I had no doubt in my mind when taking on this challenge that I’d have to become a social recluse, just to avoid temptation. Plus, I really didn’t want to have to answer to the condescending sneer that came with, “Since when do you not drink?” As if I was born with a champagne glass in hand! So I had to confront all challenges without the numbing effect of alcohol. I had to deal with life as is, and soak in every emotion and feeling without turning to booze for solace.
FALLING MID-WAY THROUGH
By this point, I was two weeks in and already feeling clear-headed enough not to want to give in just yet. I was doing pretty well – eating right, exercising and spending time with myself, reflecting and planning my life. Fifteen days into my shiny new regimen, I was thrown a curveball. I had to attend the Sun Met in Cape Town for work. Between the excitement of being away on an allexpenses-paid trip far from Joburg, to seeing my high school friends, my newly adopted lifestyle change screeched to a halt. I indulged in a few glasses of bubbles. I had absolutely no regrets, I must point out! I returned on Monday and continued with my (slightly disrupted) well-oiled no-liquor operation. That was the first and last time I defaulted.
LIFE-CHANGING BENEFITS
Between drinks, shots, Uber trips, Chicken Licken hot wings and a six-pack of Hunters Dry to kill the hangover the next day, a night out can be quite costly. The biggest surprise that came with my month of sobriety, is just how much it improved my bank balance. I reflected on my spending habits, and found that I’d spent as much as R2 000 on my social life. That’s how much I’ve saved from quitting booze, for a month.
I also struggled to sleep after a drink (perhaps because I could still visualise myself still doing the vosho and getting even more wasted), but noticed that I was sleeping better, and also had more energy.
THE END OF A DRINKING CAREER?
I’m a realist and a believer in easing oneself into any change — going cold turkey is too restrictive and could end up frustrating you. For someone who used to anticipate Friday because #ThroatsAresOpen, I rarely think about alcohol now. My reasons for drinking have become dulled, and I understand that the choices I make now are laying the foundation for my future, both personally and professionally. My gin and wine will continue to be companions for almost all situations in my life, but I’ll drink when I want to, in a manner that doesn’t leave me trying to piece together what happened the morning after a night out.