STICKY SITUATIONS

How to handle tricky financial scenarios without losing money or friends

The situation: An invite to an outing you can’t afford

THE STRATEGY: Quality time is important. Be honest. Don’t make up stories as it could give the impression you don’t value spending time with friends.

THE SCRIPT: “I’d love to join you, but I don’t have the funds. I can’t afford a full spa day, but how about we all go for manicures next month?”

The situation: Group contributions THE STRATEGY: Clubbing together for a baby shower gift, or to help following a bereavement, can be difficult. Even when friends know your financial troubles, they expect you to pitch in. Tell them you need to be excluded, but give assurance you’ll find a way to be giving. THE SCRIPT: “It’s a great idea to club together, but please count me out, guys. I’m going to show support by chopping veggies or helping with the set-up.”

The situation: Declining to loan money THE STRATEGY: When you’re also broke, it’s easy and truthful so say you can’t help. But what about when you can afford to, and your friend knows it. Tell the truth and offer to assist in other ways. Don’t lie because it will cause anger when you buy a new pair of shoes a few days later!

THE SCRIPT: “I’ve had bad experiences with bringing money into friendships, so I just don’t do it anymore. For anyone. Is there any other way I could support you?”