TO OUR BODIES, WITH LOVE
Four body positivity champions on why there’s no better time than now to appreciate the body you’re in
BOITUMELO RAMETSI, 28,
Bodypositive Philanthropist, Founder, creative director and visual storyteller at B Glam SA.
“I wasn’t born with vitiligo. It made its first appearance on my body when I was 12, and started spreading to, mostly, the right side of my body and face by the time I reached varsity. Driving to and from varsity, I was exposed to the sun more, and the spots spread more vigorously.
I remember struggling with accepting myself and being so mad that I’d bang doors and ask my mother, ‘What is this?’ and tell her that I wouldn’t have children. I spent years hiding my vitiligo behind thick layers of foundation, but this meant that I couldn’t sweat or blow my nose in public for fear of exposing my spots. I, eventually, got tired of hiding and just wanted my skin to breathe. I went from hiding to challenging myself to outline all the things that made me beautiful. Around this time, I had started my beauty blog, B Glam SA, a brand that celebrates individuals’ unique essence to expand their consciousness through visuals and brand building. Spotted Beauty is a blog within B Glam SA — it expresses my level of consciousness. This journey of self-discovery rescued me from self-imposed unhappiness. Now I can’t stop talking about what selfacceptance did for my confidence. I’m determined to live life to the fullest, while encouraging others to realise their own journey of selfrealisation.
Body positivity to me... is embracing the fact that my looks and body are ever-evolving. It is loving my body now, in the present, instead of postponing this pivotal exercise for another time. I’ve stopped typecasting myself to one aesthetic, and now understand that our existence as human beings goes deeper than something as fickle as outer beauty!”
ITUMELENG MOKWATLO, 28,
Strategic communications officer, part-time make-up artist and beauty influencer.
“Growing up, I wasn’t the tiniest child, and at varsity my body changed a lot as a result of stress and bad eating habits. When I gained weight, I thought my body needed to be covered up. For the longest time, I was ashamed of owning and accepting who I am, until I woke up one day and decided I was going to ignore the piercing stares that had become my reality as a trans-woman. It’s amazing what self-acceptance can do because I don’t feel the stares anymore! Throwing caution to the wind has allowed me to experiment with more clothing and make-up options, which is a self-taught passion of mine. In high school, one teacher used to joke that I wore more make-up than all of the girls in the school combined [chuckles]. The worst discrimination is in the LGBTIQ+ community where, statements like ‘No fems, no fats’ are thrown around carelessly. It’s a phrase that speaks down to feminine and full-figured gay men, because in our circle, there’s almost an unspoken understanding that the more masculine a façade you put up, the more attractive it makes you. I’ve been lucky in that the love and acceptance that my family has showered me with from day one, protects me like a second skin. If my family loves me in all my entirety, then no outside disapproval can ever break me.
Body positivity to me... means loving my body despite society’s subtle messages that prompt me not to.”
I have been lucky in that the love and acceptance that my family has showered me with from day one, protects me like a second skin.
ITUMELENG SEKHU, 31,
Author, entrepreneur, internationally-accredited speaker and founder of the Itumeleng Sekhu Foundation.
“When I look at my life and how much I’ve fought to enjoy the kind of [body] confidence that I now have, I can’t believe I’m the same girl who tried to commit suicide three times in her pre-teen and teen years.
I was burnt by a candle when I was just 11 months old. The incident left me with scars on my face and body; it claimed my right arm and deformed my left hand. My mom is a fearless warrior who never takes ‘no’ for an answer, and she quit her job to take care of me. She banged on many doors to ensure I had the best private healthcare, education and lifestyle.
I felt I wasn’t beautiful, and I was tired of the stares. I knew no teenage boy would want to be with me. The turning point was a visit to a youth church service when I was 18. I literally felt the Holy Spirit change my outlook on life. I thought to myself: ‘If God made me this way and loves me despite it all, then why am I fighting His will?’ I found the kind of peace I’d been yearning for. The more I familiarised myself with His teachings, the more things fell into place. This is the kind of change one can’t quite put into words.
Being different in a world that’s intolerant is hard, but my journey has taught me that when you fully accept yourself, others have no choice but to follow suit. Now I know that as horrifying as my accident was, God wanted me to stand out. Without these scars, I would have easily disappeared into the crowd.
Body positivity to me... means I haven’t allowed my scars to determine the course of my life and media career. I’m a mother to five-year-old twin boys and want them to see me lead as normal a life as possible. Through my foundation, I motivate young people to focus on education.”
If God made me this way and loves me despite it all, then why am I fighting His will?
SIZAKELE PHOHLELI, 32,
Demand planner, poet and author of Letters To Cinnamon.
“My journey with body positivity started at home. I have two older sisters and a brother who were thinner and more beautiful than me, just like my mother. I envied them. When I was younger, I wasn’t entirely certain of the concept of skinniness and obesity but grew up feeling like I didn’t belong in my body, nor my family’s narrative. Things took a turn for the worst when I gained weight around 2002 — people assumed I was my sisters’ older sister. That broke me because they are four years my seniors. As a means to disappear into myself and be unseen, I hid behind baggy clothes. It took me years to snap out of these destructive thoughts — and I can’t peg it down to any one moment. My body was for a very long time a prison. Self-loathing always comes easily, without effort. Five years ago, I never thought I’d look at myself with so much affection, finally feeling that I belong here, in this body, in this skin. Only now, do I honestly believe I’m perfect as I am, that I’ve always been a masterpiece. I’m braving short skirts, dresses, sleeveless and crop tops — even on days when my tummy’s not cooperating. I keep a big mirror in my house where I make it a point to remind myself how pretty I am.
Body positivity to me... I’ve learnt that the trick is in loving and seeing myself differently. I’ve learnt to be kind to myself, even on those days when I feel terrible.”