Spirit – Pastor Pushie

Pastor Pushie on going from TV to the pulpit, and why something always has to die for a full-on transition to kick in!

You don’t always start out as who you’re meant to be. As a young girl, I wanted to be a flight attendant, which soon changed to wanting to be a model, and then a television presenter and actress. But, by the time I hit my late 20s, I was a completely different person. I wanted absolutely nothing to do with the entertainment industry. In that moment, you couldn’t pay me enough to be in the limelight. I searched for privacy

and craved anonymity. I went from seeking the spotlight to running away from it. My biggest nightmare was appearing in tabloid newspapers. I simply wanted to hide away from the world, and find God. I went from “look at me” to “hide me Lord, I want to see Your face”. I made a complete 180-degree turn.

I remember sitting on the very last row of a 7 000-seater church auditorium, threatening God that if anyone asked me for an autograph, I would leave and possibly never return. I had no desire for fame or to be celebrated. I longed for some privacy so I could find God. But, it still was a very confusing time for me. Although I knew what I did not want regarding my then career on TV, I had no idea what I would do or become. Sometimes, it is easier to know what you don’t want instead of what you actually do. Knowing who you don’t want to be doesn’t necessarily mean that you know who you’d like to become. The only job I had known until then was TV. So, who was I outside of it? What were my skills? And, were they enough? How would the new me use my gifts? I had no idea. But, I knew that I desperately wanted to find out.

I left the world of television – I walked away from my agency, ended my career, and went to church in search of my destiny. I wanted to know why I was created, and what I had to do here on earth. I had an innate sense that I was born for a unique purpose, and yearned to discover what it was. This meant starting from the bottom in one thing after having left at the top in another. I volunteered in church, and enrolled in every course on offer until eventually enlisting full-time in Bible college. I started with the basics. This involved reading the word of God, learning how to preach, praying for Him to teach me ministry, and surrendering to a new call on my life. You cannot be prideful when you seek your purpose. I had to die to self, and be born into a new way of living, where it wasn’t all about me, my looks, image or fame; but about God, people, souls, eternity, and His name.

Was it easy? No. Did I feel confused? Yes. I went from TV to ministry, from presenting to preaching, and from a celebrity in my 20s to a pastor in my 30s. I entered a new decade as a whole new person, and I had to learn to play catch-up. Most people had worked in ministry for many years before me. At times, I felt inadequate. Even then, I pushed on because going back was never an option. The metamorphosis may not always be easy, but it is necessary.

It takes courage to start again. Most people shy away from pressing the reset button because it means accepting the end of something, and coming face to face with the reality that it is over. The truth is that life is full of new beginnings. It is a series of new starts. Each year, we begin again. Each birthday, we start a new age. We graduate from one grade to the next. It takes courage and strength to reboot; to look at yourself in the mirror, and make the choice to reevaluate and introspect. The truth is that anything that is not growing, is dying. When you get to a place where growth is no longer possible, you must take the risk of starting again, and possibly from the beginning. In order for a rebirth to take place, something always has to die. You have to be willing to let go of what once was or no longer wants to stay, and try not to resuscitate something that requires a burial instead.

The process of transforming from a caterpillar to a butterfly is not pretty. However, the caterpillar is in danger both in the sky and on the ground. It is okay to have a total rebirth, and change your mind about who you are and are becoming. It does not have to make sense to anyone. You just have to trust the process, and embrace the unfamiliarity and discomfort that comes with it. When you are no longer who you used to be, and your wings begin to grow even though you’re still learning how to fly — and even though you don’t always get it right — continue to flap your wings until it becomes your new normal. Allow destiny to coerce you to evolve, grow, reinvent and rebirth. Even Jesus went from being a carpenter to a Saviour. Maybe the time for your rebirth has come.

John 3:3 says, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again” (NIV).

Say this prayer: Dear Lord Jesus, thank You for dying on the cross for me. Today, I ask You to come into my heart. Be my Lord and Saviour. Have Your way in me. I give you my life, spirit, soul and body. Thank You for saving me. I am now born again. A child of God; Amen. Love always, Pastor P. Instagram: @_pushie

It takes courage to start again. Most people shy away from pressing the reset button because it means accepting the end of something, and coming face to face with the reality that it is over. The truth is that life is full of new beginnings. It is a series of new starts. Each year, we begin again.