At Home With Ayanda Ncwane

Ayanda Ncwane has proven to be an attraction since the start of Real Housewives of Durban. We visit her home, where she indulges us on everything, including her late husband’s baby mama, whom she met on the show

Since the broadcast of Real Housewives of Durban (RHOD) started, music mogul Ayanda Ncwane (36) hasn’t stopped trending. She trends religiously almost every Friday, when a new episode is flighted on Showmax. “People hadn’t experienced the real Ayanda, but finally, they are getting to see my colourful personality,” she gushes, as she sips tea in her lounge at one of the leafy Dainfern estates, a prestigious suburb in the north of Johannesburg. “People would see me on social media and have perceptions of me. What they didn’t know is that there are many dimensions to me – although serious, I am also bubbly and fun. People have fallen in love with the well-put-together woman that I am,” the mom of two smiles. In the first episode of RHOD, Ayanda trended for having a beautiful home, and it is in this very house that she has invited TRUELOVE to spend a day with her.

STUNNING PROPERTY

Ayanda’s Tuscan style home oozes sophistication and class. She has gone for clean tones of white and beiges, and says it was deliberate. “Growing up, I lived in a home with dark colours, and when you walked out, you would be greeted by goats and chickens,” she laughs, adding that it is for this reason her house has these light colours. Ayanda was born in rural KwaZulu-Natal.

Her home feels warm and there is no clutter, which makes it refreshing. Both the lounge and dining area open onto the indoor patio, which has a sliding door that leads to the pool and a manicured garden. The bedrooms are upstairs, and her room boasts an outdoor balcony arranged with outdoor furniture, in case she doesn’t want to go and relax downstairs. Her choice in furniture shows that she has a taste for the finer things in life; it’s hard not to be struck by the eye-catching chandeliers hanging from the ceiling

So well put together is Ayanda’s house, you would swear that she spent an arm and a leg on an interior decorator. But she maintains that she picked the pieces herself. A feature that grabs your attention is the massive canvas hanging above the entrance of her home. The canvas is of her late husband and musician S’fiso Ncwane, holding a mic as if he is singing.

“When I have been away, the first thing I do is look at this picture and thank God for my safe travels,” Ayanda says. “S’fiso was an aggressively protective man, so I do this because I know his spirit lives on,” she adds. The picture overlooks the doors of the bedroom of her double-storey home. “Every time someone closes the door, they see a picture of him doing what he enjoyed most – singing.”

A SPIRITUAL RESURRECTION

It’s not every day that when a celebrity passes away, their wife continues to follow their joint dream and turn it into reality. S’fiso passed away suddenly in December 2016, and almost five years on, Ayanda has managed to keep his spirit alive. But she maintains, “To some people, it might look as if I am continuing the legacy of my husband, but it is actually my family’s empire and not S’fiso’s legacy.”

“In 2009, we decided we would start something that would continue from generation to generation with the same effort and same goal.” She sets the record straight: “Even without him, the vision stands. It is not about an individual’s legacy.” Ayanda seems to be strong and doing well. But it has taken her time to come to this point of healing.

“We are fine!” she sighs referring to her two sons who are 16 and 12 years old. “Honestly, we would be spitting in God’s face if we were weak or fragile at this point. He has favoured us enough to give us strength to continue on

this journey. Brutal, hard, cold, wicked as it is, we have been able to withstand it. We are much stronger and doing well.”

Ayanda met S’fiso in 2002, when she was a waitress and had gone out for ice cream with colleagues on her day off. “Within five minutes of us meeting, he said he would marry me. I laughed, but here I am today – I am Mrs Ncwane,” she laughs.

HER HUSBAND’S OTHER CHILD AND BABY MAMA

But things haven’t always been rosy, as Ayanda admits she has faced some tribulations in her relationship. In the first episode of RHOD, she came face to face ‑ unknowingly, she claims ‑ with the mother of S’fiso’s other child. It was during a Diwali dinner at Sorisha Naidoo’s mansion with all the housewives, that Nonkululeko Williams, known as Nonku, turned up as a companion to one of the housewives.

During the dinner, it emerged that Nonku knew Ayanda very well, telling all and sundry that she had a child with Ayanda’s late husband. Ayanda was shocked, she says, because she knew about the child and the mom, but had never met the woman before. Ayanda explains how this entire situation came about.

“In 2006, for about eight months, S’fiso and I separated while we were dating. I was on a spiritual journey that entailed no sex. I got saved and I told him that he was either with me on this journey, or not. He wasn’t, so we went our separate ways,” she says.

S’FISO DIDN’T CHEAT

Even though S’fiso and Ayanda’s first child had already been born, they parted ways. It was during this time that Nonku fell pregnant with S’fiso’s child. “People think S’fiso cheated on me, but we were not together at the time. We were not even married; we only got married in June 2007,” she says.

Then they reconnected again. S’fiso visited Ayanda’s mother and grandmother and told them that, while they were on a break with Ayanda, he had fathered a child with someone else. “They adored him and he was perfect in their eyes, so they sat us down and we reconciled. We went to church, but I was adamant that I was not going to engage in premarital sex. He repented, and months later, we got

People think Sfiso cheated on me but we were not together at the time. We were not even married; we only got married in June 2007

married,” Ayanda recalls.

She says S’fiso’s child with Nonku was never a secret. Nonku was married, and had left the child with her mom, and she and S’fiso would often fetch the little girl from her grandmother’s house to come and visit them. “I knew Nonku’s mom because our interaction was with her, but I had never met Nonku herself,” she explains. While many women would be unforgiving at having their dirty laundry aired for all to see, Ayanda couldn’t care less. “Meeting Nonku in person and being able to talk like adults was God’s plan. My stories have been shared the wrong way, so through this, I am telling it live,” she says, adding that it’s God’s plan to live this moment in the public eye.

NOT DOING IT FOR TV

And her life is certainly public, with the spotlight on her as one of the housewives. She admits, “Never in a million years did I think I would do this. The casting director was smart. She approached me for months on end and persuaded me that the Durban instalment needed women who are hard-working, in business, strong, independent and inspirational. Based on the hard-working and inspirational factor, I was determined to do it so long as I didn’t have to change who I am. I was clear about my conditions – I’m a Christian, I don’t drink, and I will not be forced to drink for ratings. They reassured me in black and white, and here I am today. I’m one of the housewives.”

WANTING A BABY

Ayanda is an open book and she shared on the reality show that she wants a baby before she is 40. “I’ve been praying about it. Bab’ Ncwane and I had a name for our daughter, but unfortunately God took him before we could have the child. Through God’s grace and God willing, I will have a baby before I am 40, as I don’t want a huge gap between my children.” So does this mean she is dating again after losing her husband? “I have started looking at CVs,” she laughs. “In 2018 I started a sowing a seed and praying for a partner. God is preparing someone for me. When friends push me to start dating, I always tell them that I am in no hurry,” she says.

“I took a vow that I would give myself five years to heal properly so that I don’t compare my new partner to S’fiso.” Ayanda says she wants someone who will complement her intellect and everything she represents in business and in the kingdom of God. “I don’t want someone who will

take chances,” she emphasises, adding that she will not even describe the kind of qualities she wants in a man, just in case a sheep comes in wolf’s clothing. “I want to look and identify those qualities myself and know that the person is genuine. I don’t want people to come wearing those qualities to capture Ayanda,” she says, hinting that she has a big crush on the president of Russia, Vladimir Putin. For now, she is a hard-working single mom who wants to give her children the best. “Single mothers are powerful. I was raised by a single mom and grandmother, so becoming a single mom at a young age wasn’t a train smash. I adapted easily,” she says.

FAMILY EMPIRE

While being on RHOD might imply that Ayanda is a housewife, Ayanda works hard for her money and owns Ncwane Communications. “I’ve always loved music, but I never thought I would go this far and be involved this much. My business focuses on empowerment and upliftment of musicians from the ground up. We also scout talent, do artist promotion and management, brand management of musicians, and host one of the biggest gospel festivals in SA,” she says, adding that each year God favours them by “opening our eyes to the opportunities that are available to empower not only our artists, but also those signed to other labels”.

She says their vision is to see musicians become independent, own their intellectual property and their music, and be aware of the copyright laws and so forth. What many people don’t know is that Ayanda is the brains behind Abathandwa, a much-loved gospel outfit that became famous for Umoya Wam. “Abanthandwa have done well. The goal was not to expose them only to the South African market; we also wanted to grow them globally. In my research, I discovered that if we positioned them just for the South African market, their lifespan would be short. So, we recorded them, created a footprint in South Africa, and then immediately took them out. We started travelling around Africa, and they became known. But, honestly, since last year we haven’t been working due to Covid-19. We are putting plans together for the global stages we initially planned,” she continues.

Abanthandwa have done well. The goal was not to expose them only to the South African market; we also wanted to grow them globally

COVID -19 DISASTER

Covid-19 has had a huge impact on businesses, and the entertainment industry is feeling the pinch, with very large festivals and gatherings being forbidden. “We have been disrupted greatly. We have four major festivals, which take place every quarter. I took a decision not to go with the virtual events, so we focused instead on releasing singles to keep the brands of our artists alive, and encouraged them not to fall silent but to keep their fan base going, even when they weren’t making money. With God and his direction, we are still here, alive. There is hope.”

She hasn’t really felt the pinch of the lockdown herself, she says, because she has done what any wise businessperson would: she knows you can’t survive without a few irons in the fire, and she’s glad to have adopted that philosophy a long time ago. “When you are doing well, make investments. On a sunny day, prepare for a rainy day. When it pours money, which it does, you need to invest in other businesses. Not all of them must be known, because as a public figure you have enemies. Like me - I have other business interests that will sustain my family for a long time to come,” she says.

With such pearls of wisdom, it is clear that Ayanda is the epitome of beauty with brains, who has taken the reality show world by storm. ■