Coming together
Host and counsellor Mareka Malatji reveals how she helps estranged loved ones in intervention show Relate.
What happens when two people continuously clash and they aren’t willing to understand one another’s perspective? In intervention show Relate, mediators are brought into the conversation to assist the parties in finding common ground. “When people ask me what Relate is about, I always give the same response: We offer people an opportunity to address and solve their problems,” explains counsellor, pastor and host Mareka Malatji.
By providing a “client” with a safe space where they can confront the person who they believe has wronged them – or the respondent, as they are referred to in the show – both parties learn better ways of communicating to improve their relationship. “I sit with both people and together we find solutions. It’s freeing for them to know that they can openly discuss their issues without any judgement,” adds Mareka.
TALKING IT OUT
After the client writes to the show, the Relate team visits their home to evaluate their case. When the team has all the details about the dilemma, the client and respondent are invited to the show. That’s when they meet Mareka at the studio. “I first talk to the client to get their side of their story, while the respondent goes into another room and watches the conversation from a laptop,” explains Mareka.
Soon after, the two people switch places. “After I have both sides, the client and respondent join me on the couch and they have a conversation. Meanwhile, the in-house clinical psychologist Sbu Nhlapo is in another room, watching how the client and respondent communicate,” explains Mareka, who encourages the parties to discuss their problems directly, openly and without judgement.
In the final segment of the episode, Sbu offers both parties advice and gives them tools to resolve their problems.
“In most cases, he suggests further therapy for the parties,” says Mareka before adding that “the objective of Relate is to ensure that both people walk away from the process with a better and healthier relationship”.
FINDING SOLUTIONS
Before filming the episode, Mareka explains that she prepares herself psychologically. “The cases that I deal with on the show are within my qualification and scope of work, but I also want to be emotionally and mentally prepared to help the people that come onto Relate. I want to be at the point where I can empathise with them and that means that I should be open to listening to their issues and remain neutral,” she says.
BEYOND TV
When asked about the benefits of conflict resolution therapy, Mareka explains that the experience helps the client and respondent to build better, healthier and stronger relationships. “What I like about therapy is that you have someone listening to you.
You have someone you can trust, and someone who is qualified to assist you work through your problems.” She also explains that therapy isn’t an overnight solution to issues. “For this reason, we give clients activities after the session that will help them improve not only in their relationships, but in all aspects of their lives. When the tasks are put to action, the clients realise that they grow and heal themselves.”