WORKING AS A FAMILY TO LOOK AFTER ELDERLY PARENTS

Families need to be on the same page when it comes to looking after their elderly parents. on’t take it all on alone about how much care they shouldn’t have to ask’

If you or your siblings actually need and if you can If you’re the one doing most of are caring for an ageing provide it without harming your the caregiving, you’ve probably parent, it’s essential to be realistic well-being or financial security. thought: “I wish my brother or These are conversations sister was more willing to help.” you need to have with your Remember that not all siblings parents and/or their feel the same way about their financial advisor. parents; each person has their Don’t be a victim of ‘I own relationship and played a

Ddifferent role in the family while growing up.

They may not feel the same way about your parents’ care as you do, or perhaps they show it in different ways.

If you need them to help you, it’s better to just ask instead of holding a grudge.

Don’t treat each other as kids Approach your siblings as adults and give them a chance to react to the situation too. Try not to fight like kids and get a mediator to help if this isn’t possible.

Don’t automatically revert to your childhood roles

When you were kids, an older sibling may have taken care of everything. It’s easy to fall back into those roles and leave them to care for your parents. But this isn’t fair on anyone; talking and working out what responsibility each of you can take on is a far healthier approach and will bring you closer.

Don’t avoid planning for the tough reality ahead

Death is very hard to talk about so most people avoid the conversation altogether. This makes things worse when it’s crunch time and no one knows what to do.

Call a family meeting when your parents are still healthy and chat calmly.

Here’s a way to start the conversation: “Remember aunt so-and-so, and how our cousins were still fighting when she was on the respirator and they wouldn’t let her die and how painful that was for everybody?

“We don’t want that to happen in our family. Mom, Dad, do you have any special wishes?

“If you were on a respirator, would you want us to do everything possible, or would you just want to go quietly? Who should make that decision? We’ll all want to do what’s right, but we may have different feelings.”

When the whole family hears your parents’ wishes, it’ll be much easier when the time comes to carry them out.

Source: Adapted from dailycaring.com