Steve Pike

THAT is the north face of the Eiger, he said, solemnly. The Eiger is a massive mountain in Switzerland known for a 1 800-metre sheer cliff of rock and ice.

I am no climber, BASE jumper or wingsuit flyer, but the highest north face in all Europe on a mountain named “ogre” in German? That’s one mighty impressive, if not terrifying, crag.

However, I was nowhere near it. My ENT surgeon John Steer was using a metaphor to describe the jumbled wall of puffed up skin and bone that has all but sealed off the canal in my left ear.

This was his disconcerting description of the osteoma – a benign tumour of bone – that has been slowly growing from the sides of my ear canals for the last 40 years.

Surfers know the condition all too well. Surfer’s Ear occurs when constant contact with cold water in the canal activates blood vessels in the lining that remain dilated for long periods of time, thus “tricking” the bone into growing to protect the eardrum. Perhaps this is what they call “evolutionary morphing” toward an aquatic species?

The hearing in my left ear shut down in the holidays. After silly episodes of syringes, ear candles and Waxsol, the blockage would not clear. It