Weekend Argus (Saturday Edition)
‘Our love is a story of the new South Africa’
ON HER traditional wedding day Natalie Maimane received a new name from her in-laws. She would be Rethabile to the family, a Setswana term for “happy family”.
The former history and English teacher has indeed been working on creating a happy home and remembers her wedding day well.
She wore customary attire on the day when older women sat her down inside a room in Dobsonville, Soweto and unveiled all she needed to know about her new husband and home.
“Mmusi’s mom and gran told me to come to them with any problems,” she said.
That momentous occasion and many others have shaped her 10-year marriage to DA leader Mmusi Maimane. They met at church. “He was a very close friend many years. He was more of a brother figure in my life. One day we went out for coffee as we did very often. It was that particular day that things shifted for both of us. At that moment we realised we were part of each other for so long,” she said.
Eight months later, Mmusi and Natalie tied the knot but obstacles and racial tensions were a reality. They had to dispel misconceptions about their interracial marriage.
“Some people expressed disgust, some congratulated Mmusi for being with a white girl. Both of these were wrong. They showed an incorrect perception of how people are labelled superior or inferior according to the colour of their skin. But when we got married, we promised each other that we would be open about experiencing things like this.”
The stay-at-home mom of two admits her family and Mmusi’s initially had their concerns about prejudice affecting their children.
Natalie said subtle conversations about skin colour, the country’s history and current social challenges had already entered their home as their 5-year-old daughter, Kgalaletso, asks questions, while 3year-old son Kgosi is also exposed to society’s mores.
“Children’s concept of race is basic colour. I do see my daughter is starting to notice patterns in society. At this stage her definition of race is that she is caramel, Mom is peach, and dad is Brown. Teaching her about race for me is how I would approach her on issues about her body at a level appropriate to her. It is what I would do with culture and many other things.”
She believes it’s crunch time for the country as racial issues need to be dealt with for society to advance.
“There is an attitude from white people that I do wish there was more understanding of in the sense that if we really want our country to move forward we have to acknowledge what happened in the past. But I also find it equally frustrating that people still maintain that Mmusi was given a white wife by the DA when in fact we had been married for six years before he was actively involved in politics. Our family is proof of the fact that we have progressed as country. We are a couple that has found one another post-apartheid; we have two beautiful children who are intelligent and have opportunities they may have never had in the past. For me those are stories of the new South Africa,” she said.
She can readily tell you kea gorata (I love you) and wagafa (you’re crazy) in Setswana and knows one thing that has warmed her heart as Mmusi’s life partner: her love for soft sorghum porridge.