Your husband’s not a bad parent – he’s probably depressed

A: It could very well be true that he is not enjoying himself. But where you see a potentially less-than-stellar dad, I see a probably depressed man (and it’s not just these glasses).

You describe an arduous hallmarks of depression, which can rob a new parent of the ability to bond with his or her child. And yes, it can also be maddening to live with.

Convey your concerns that he doesn’t seem to be himself, or even happy, and how maybe it’s been tough to recover from the earlier stresses. Don’t make it a laundry list of the ways he’s falling short. He needs help, and you could use some support as well. A: I’m sorry. Sometimes someone’s behaviour can hurt others terribly, even if it’s not doing anything wrong.

Your pain is natural and understandable, and yet your mindset is right in that your dad deserves to find happiness. In truth, his ability to embrace life again is a testament to hope, and a toast to the power of human connection, not a negation of his love for your mom.

That this person knew your family while your mother was still alive may sting more in certain ways – again, your feelings are normal – but it’s a common scenario, as it brings comfort and familiarity.

And it can actually help keep your mother’s memory alive, strange as that may seem.

Give yourself time and space to feel all this; it’s part of grieving, and you’re human.

A skilled counsellor can help this transition. – Washington Post

Bonior, a clinical psychologist, is author of The Friendship Fix. Follow her on Twitter: @drandreabonior.