Embracing marriage customs, African style

Traditions may be costly but honouring them leads to better family unity

IN the month of love, Weekend Argus explored how marriage customs like lobolo and the role of the makoti (new bride), affect modern Xhosa couples. . According to a traditional expert, lobolo was a symbol to unite the two families and would cost a couple of sheep, a cow to five cows. Today, negotiations are lengthy and sometimes demands can break the bank. As many as 20 cows, costing from R15 000 to R17 000; a cow, houses, cellphones and cars can be put on the table, depending on the families’ social status. Once the lobolo is agreed upon, the couple are considered married.

The makoti is then identified by her outfit which includes a black head scarf, a symbol of dignity and respect. She also wears a scarf around her waist. Traditionally the dress is blue with a white shirt.

Tradition also dictates the newlyweds live with the husband’s family, for three to six months, before they make a home of their own.

Lobolo is slightly different to a dowry in some Indian cultures where the bride’s family pays the groom’s family an agreed amount to have them marry their daughter and allow her to use his name.

In Islamic custom, the amount or Mahr is paid to the bride’s family as a form of financial security for the bride, in case of a divorce. In African cultures the groom’s father may not assist his son in making lobolo payments.

The lobolo price varies from family to family and is determined by a delegation of the bride’s uncles. Entry is secured by a gift. Then negotiations proceed.

This is usually followed by festivities and presents. A portion of the lobolo is used to fund the wedding and a ceremony where the family and friends of the bride accompany the bride to her new home.

The bride is expected to enter her new home with her own crockery and cutlery with which she will make tea for her in-laws once the guests leave. She is expected to enter the home with a new bed and a kist filled with new linen.

PICTURE: SUPPLIED Asanda Mpumlwana, 32, with her daughter Boitumelo, 2, and son Buhle,11, and her husband Thabo Masoko. Mpumlwana says she never focused much on the notion of lobolo before she met Masoko.

PICTURES: CINDY WAXA/AFRICAN NEWS AGENCY (ANA) The makoti is identified by her outfit which includes a black head scarf, a symbol of dignity and respect.

Modern Xhosa couple, Aqhama and her husband Chumani Waxa.