THESE BONES ARE TINGLING FOR THE CROSSBONES

THIRTY days hath September, April,

June and November. All the rest have 31, excepting February – and that 28 days clear, and 29 in each leap year.

Aweh, from the Urban Hive, where we have been staying alive! ‘Tis a special day for those who leap, so let’s make some moola to keep.

The footy around the world this week has been lit bangani bami.

The PSL is back for our local soiree, after another very interesting cup weekend. Ask abo-yellow and their glamorous lives.

As they say on the social media, the 50th anniversary party planners are currently breathing through the wound.

Ag shame, maybe it’s too soon. One would hate to throw them off their very important derby game this weekend against arch rivals Orlando Pirates.

It’s a proper Soweto six-pointer, with Sundowns very interested spectators.

There’s a feeling in these zones, and they are tingling for the skull and cross bones.

As the song goes; Lorch, Lorch, Lorch! Today’s other games feature Golden Arrows versus Highlands Park, Chippa plays AmaZulu, and Supersport versus Bidvest Wits.

Ngesonto there are two games, Polokwane face Black Leopards, and Bloem Celtic versus Baroka. Go home and go big on both.

Oorkant, it’s all happening, from Premier League to Champions League. By the by the hottest race in football is in the Championship, as they chase the coveted Premier League status.

Don’t sleep on West Brom, Leeds and their pursuit for privilege.

Njengoba ngishilo (like I said) last week the home teams were the safest bets, as Leicester was the only home span to take an ‘L’.

Today, Brighton are facing Crystal Palace, West Ham hosts Southampton, Newcastle versus Burnley, Bournemouth plays Chelsea, and Watford meet mighty Liverpool.

Tomorrow, Spurs hosts Wolves, and Everton play Manchester United.

The visitors should find more joy, but one may be able to take a dip on the Hammers and the Toffees. They were both incredibly unlucky to get nothing from Liverpool and Arsenal respectively last week.

Super Rugby round five is upon us, and teams are seemingly settled and getting into the tournament.

Hurricanes versus Sunwolves should be an easy game for the men from Wellington. A full bag of points would move the Canes up into top four territory.

The Reds take on the Sharks, who have been on the road for a Cape Town minute. This will be their last hurrah before returning to the tank we know as Kings Park.

Then it’s the ‘battle of the Blues’ when top of the pops Stormers welcome Auckland.

I bumped into a Welsh centre of attention built like a beast on Main Straat Slaapstad this week, which is a clear sign to me that the Newlands farewell season is more than a Storm in a teacup.

The bumbling Bulls take on the Jaguares to wrap up the weekend’s games. Unfortunately, I’d have to pleadaa the fifth here. If I’m subpoenaed, though, I’d have to back those Argentinean braai masters.

Over and out, like the Proteas in a T20 match!

It’s so funny how little noise has been made about the drubbing we’ve received – on home soil – from the wise men of cricket in South Africa, who were so quick on the trigger for Enoch.

Must be nice.

The actual cricketers who are performing are the ladies, who are a cheeky outside bet for the T20 World Cup in Australia.

Imagine they, with the lesser resources and hope invested, come back with a trophy before their highly paid and seldom slated male counterparts.

As Alanis Morissette once said, Ironic.