Weekend Argus (Saturday Edition)
The pen is mightier than the sword for abuse victims
A Letter to my Perpetrator is not written by victims, it’s written by survivors who used this tool as an outlet to share their pain, turmoil, hurt, loneliness, trauma and sadness but also the triumph over misfortune, tragedy and loss
WRITING has been proven to heal and it is said that the pen is mightier than the sword.
This is exactly what activist and humanitarian Latifah Jacobs embarked on when she decided to compile a book with the contributions of survivors of abuse.
The book, titled A Letter to my perpetrator, is the victim’s voice, speaking to the abuser.
It comprises poems and letters from different survivors from all walks of life and is filled with real emotions flowing from each survivor.
Jacobs, a single mother, shared her idea with publisher Haroldene Tshienda of Tshienda Publications and the women immediately got to work.
Jacobs said often after court cases were over and the perpetrator had been locked away, the victim was left with the pain and had not had the opportunity to confront the person or people who caused harm to them physically, emotionally or verbally.
“Inside the book you’ll read real letters, poems, stories from people who have lived through horrendous trails of abuse,” said Jacobs.
“A Letter to My Perpetrator is not written by victims, it’s written by survivors who used this tool as an outlet to share their pain, turmoil, hurt, loneliness, trauma and sadness but also the triumph over misfortune, tragedy and loss.
“These survivors took all of their being to share their stories with the world so the healing can begin. When the secret is no longer in the darkness
of silence, it begins to lose its hold and control.” Jacobs said while the spotlight was always on court cases and the “16 days of activism for no violence against women and children” campaign, abuse did not have a specific time period.
“Violence surrounds us 365 days, not just during 16 days of activism,” she said.
“The book tells of how the emphasis is placed on violence only during the days of the 16 days of activism for no violence against women and children.
“Are 16 days really enough to put emphasis on the violence that occurs everyday?
“It is the opportunity for a survivor to address his or her perpetrator,
whether they get the letter or not.
“So much emphasis is placed on the court case and the perpetrator. No one thinks of the after-effect, when the court case is done and what then? Having your perpetrator sentenced does not give closure to a survivor or the family of a victim who has passed on.”
One of the survivors is Carmelita Ross from Saldanha.
“My role in the book is that of a poet,” she said.
“I see myself as a poet because my passion to write began in 2020. I write about my own experiences in my life and I share what our community is enduring.
“I speak for those who feel like they do not have a voice and are afraid to speak out. My message is to kill the silence and to let our voices be heard so we can overcome fear and face our perpetrators,” Ross said.
Tshienda said Jacob’s literary contribution to society in the form of a book was phenomenal.
In the book, Tshienda also had the opportunity to face her perpetrators. Whether they heard her voice or not, for her it was a release, the start of healing.
“After Latifah confided in me with her vision, I thought ‘what a selfless act’,” she said.
“She is planning on writing an
autobiography but first wanted to publish letters and poems of women from all walks of life who went through or are still going through tough times because they can’t find closure or want to say something to their perpetrators.
“I told her, ‘let’s do it’ and in just a few months we made a call for submissions.
“My personal letter brought closure to me. My perpetrator is dead, but I still hear his voice on occasions.
“But it’s a battle that I have to fight,” Tshienda said.
“As long as I have forgiven him or her.
“I have freedom in a way because I didn’t keep my feelings to myself, I wrote it down.
“I know for a fact that they will never read the letter but it brought healing to me. I can finally say goodbye and rest in peace.”
The book will be launched in November and will retail at R200.
• For more information about the book, contact Tshienda Publications at info@tshiendapublications.co.za
LATIFAH JACOBS Author