Hus­band shares in­fer­til­ity fears

Weekend Witness - - News -

“AM I still a man? Men can have kids.” — A reader shares his heart­break­ing strug­gle with sec­ondary in­fer­til­ity.

A reader wrote in anony­mously to share his in­fer­til­ity strug­gle with Par­ent24, say­ing that, although he tries to be strong for his fam­ily, he of­ten ques­tions his worth.

This al­most feels too per­sonal to share, but here goes: “I’m 43, sup­pos­edly healthy, but let’s face it, the last few years have added some girth around the mid­dle and I am not as ac­tive as I was be­fore.

“My wife, she’s 31, looks far younger. Cute as a but­ton at 1,58 m in her socks. Maybe not as sleek and svelte as she was when we met, but still, in my view, my own su­per­model. She eats healthily, drinks her wa­ter, vi­ta­mins and looks af­ter her­self.

“We have one daugh­ter: H, born 2012. There were no is­sues hav­ing her, in fact, she was a bit of a sur­prise!

“Mom had some com­pli­ca­tions with high-blood pres­sure and baby was born at 36 weeks, spend­ing a good three-and-a-half weeks in NICU. H is now six, healthy, happy and ac­tive.

“In short, we are an av­er­age mid­dle-class cou­ple, and we want to give H a lit­tle brother or sis­ter, ex­cept, it seems, af­ter three years ... noth­ing.

“We dis­cussed it. I thought it may be me — I know male in­fer­til­ity is on the in­crease, and I’m not the young tiger I was 20 years ago. We agreed we would both go for tests.

“Hers was nor­mal, save for low AMH lev­els [I think that’s what the doc­tor said], which means she wasn’t ovu­lat­ing. Med­i­ca­tion was pre­scribed, which the lovely one will be tak­ing with her next cy­cle. Good news is there was noth­ing else untoward.

“Me ... pfft ... low count, bor­der­ing on in­fer­tile, low vol­ume, low testos­terone lev­els ... although ev­ery­thing checks out nor­mal other­wise, I was told to lose weight. He also pre­scribed med­i­ca­tion to as­sist with in­creas­ing hor­mone lev­els and not merely sug­gested, but dic­tated a change in life­style.

“So here we are, two months into what may be a long process. Both of us are wor­ried. The lovely one is stressed about what may fol­low: tests, nee­dles, probes etc, etc. I try to ease her and tell her I am with her all the way through the process ...

“But silently, I die in­side ... to hear you may be in­fer­tile — that stings on a per­sonal level.

“Am I still a man? Men can have kids. I may not be able to again. That’s my fear. What am I other­wise? “It’s a long road ahead ...”

— Par­ent24.

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