Husband shares infertility fears
“AM I still a man? Men can have kids.” — A reader shares his heartbreaking struggle with secondary infertility.
A reader wrote in anonymously to share his infertility struggle with Parent24, saying that, although he tries to be strong for his family, he often questions his worth.
This almost feels too personal to share, but here goes: “I’m 43, supposedly healthy, but let’s face it, the last few years have added some girth around the middle and I am not as active as I was before.
“My wife, she’s 31, looks far younger. Cute as a button at 1,58 m in her socks. Maybe not as sleek and svelte as she was when we met, but still, in my view, my own supermodel. She eats healthily, drinks her water, vitamins and looks after herself.
“We have one daughter: H, born 2012. There were no issues having her, in fact, she was a bit of a surprise!
“Mom had some complications with high-blood pressure and baby was born at 36 weeks, spending a good three-and-a-half weeks in NICU. H is now six, healthy, happy and active.
“In short, we are an average middle-class couple, and we want to give H a little brother or sister, except, it seems, after three years ... nothing.
“We discussed it. I thought it may be me — I know male infertility is on the increase, and I’m not the young tiger I was 20 years ago. We agreed we would both go for tests.
“Hers was normal, save for low AMH levels [I think that’s what the doctor said], which means she wasn’t ovulating. Medication was prescribed, which the lovely one will be taking with her next cycle. Good news is there was nothing else untoward.
“Me ... pfft ... low count, bordering on infertile, low volume, low testosterone levels ... although everything checks out normal otherwise, I was told to lose weight. He also prescribed medication to assist with increasing hormone levels and not merely suggested, but dictated a change in lifestyle.
“So here we are, two months into what may be a long process. Both of us are worried. The lovely one is stressed about what may follow: tests, needles, probes etc, etc. I try to ease her and tell her I am with her all the way through the process ...
“But silently, I die inside ... to hear you may be infertile — that stings on a personal level.
“Am I still a man? Men can have kids. I may not be able to again. That’s my fear. What am I otherwise? “It’s a long road ahead ...”